


Will you ever notice me? (Arthur Morgan x Original Female Character)

by MischaChan



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Age Difference, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-26
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:20:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 41,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26131024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MischaChan/pseuds/MischaChan
Summary: Dutch and his boys found a girl hidden inside wrecked shack near their camp. She introduces herself as Iris and starts leading outlaw life with Van der Linde gang, quickly developing feelings towards one, special cowboy. However there is big year gap between them and Arthur sees Iris just as a kid...And girl won’t take that!Fanfic goes around Iris and Arthur's relationship, I warn for age gap, kinks, smuts and stuff like those.
Relationships: Arthur Morgan & Original Female Character(s), Arthur Morgan/Reader
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I decided to post my work here since I noticed many tumblr users does so. It's first chapter and I can imagine that few of first ones are written a little bit worse than the rest, but still - give me a chance and if you like it; kudos and bookmarks. Kiss kiss!

Iris heard gunshots sounds coming from the outside and she curled even more, hidden behind big wooden table with rock in her hand. She did not have any plan, she just imagined that if anyone will come here, she will tear them apart. Her knuckles became white as she grasped cold, uneaven ans sharp surface of a rock.  
Local gang, O'Driscolls have taken everything from her. They murdered her only brother, the only provider of their household and then this bizzare blizzard happened. Gang searched home for food and all she had left in the end was pack of oatcakes. At first she tried to hunt something using a gun or a bow but she didn’t posses enough amo for more than one attempt. So she was sitting there, for almost a week without food and water she needed she drank by eating snow. The O'Driscolls killed her brother and would probably kill her but she was small enough to hide in one of kitchen cabinets. Iris was listening in terror as one of Colm’s man slaughter her older brother, Olgierd and she couldn’t do anything at this moment - all she possessed then was her night gown, wet from sweat she produced in this stressful moment, sticking to her body. All she could do was to not get killed.  
She wasn’t some kid but her small, petite almost elvish frame and big eyes in bright, toxic green color made her look like one. Or at least younger than she really was.  
Door to her cabin opened and she saw pair of high boots but owner of boots didn’t saw her. Good. It was dark and howling of the wind masked sound of her breathing. Iris waited till he turned around to search thru cabinet. She jumped, he screamed and fall on the floor unconscious.

\- Micah?! - Dutch furrowed his brows - Arthur, come on, we need to check on him.

\- Sure - outlaw murmured. If it was for him, he wouldn’t check if Micah Bell is safe. He would even make sure that whatever put Micah in danger would kill him.  
Iris grabbed Micah’s guns. She wasn’t some Missy who couldn’t hold weapon properly. Olgier tought her how to shoot. If this weather wasn’t so wild and the amount of amo so short she would be prospering much better now.

\- Miss? Hey! - Dutch tried to use his charming tone and put his hand in the air. So did Arthur, his emerald eyes piercing thru silhouette in front of them.  
It was a girl, pale and freckeled, with long black hair that was tangled, her green eyes looking in their direction with fear. Arthur saw one more thing in those odd eyes - fury.

\- Take him and go away, please! - Iris tightened her grip around guns - I have no interest in harming you - her voice was soothing and sad and she tried to ignore the fact it sounded ridiculous. She reminded Arthur of some kind of magic dryad.

\- You look like you couldn’t harm anyone, miss - Dutch grinned and without any waring he catched her in his arms. Iris dropped one of the guns, the other one was fired in the wooden floor.

\- GO AWAY! - she screamed at the top of her lungs - LEAVE ME BE! I HAVE NOTHING!

\- Jesus, girl - Arthur chuckled while he was checking on Micah. Idiot was knocked out but throwing him right in the snow will wake him up - Life wasn’t best for you so far, wasn’t it?

\- I have nothing - she sobbed, dangling in Dutch’s arms like she was toy made from rags - I have only pack of oatcakes…You can have them if you want…but it’s already opened - tone of her voice changed. Iris realised that those man will take these oatcakes and will probably rape and kill her. It will be at least quicker death than starvation.  
Dutch put her on the floor and with quick, swift move he took away another of Micah’s guns.  
Iris eyes was wandering from Dutch to Arthur to Micah on the floor.

-I’m sorry for your friend - she murmured and blushed, looking directly at her dirty feet and bruised knees - I wanted to tell him I’m here but he didn’t notice me at first and started lurking. I thought that he gonna shoot me if I would make any sound.

\- You got him right, haven’t you - Arthur chuckled and casually grabbed one of oatcakes. Iris moaned in disappointment, she offered them those cookies just because it was right thing to do. They looked like bounty hunters or something worse, but they didn’t seem so wild and dirty as O'Driscolls. They didn’t kill her so far too.

\- You seem like you could use warmer clothes and a plate of hot soup, Miss… - Dutch said, waiting for her name.

\- I’m Iris, sir. My brother Olgierd was murdered by O'Driscolls few days ago and I have no ammunition nor arrows to hunt. If you could just give me that much I won’t bother you - she looked eagerly towards Micah’s guns that Dutch was holding.

\- I’m sorry, you’ve been offered help and food and you turn it down? Jesus, woman - Arthur rolled his eyes and lit a cigarette.  
It was second time he spoke this way towards her. Iris examined his apparition. He was big, seemed even bigger because of winter clothes. His face was scarred but handsome as hell and he had the deepest voice she ever heard. But her face didn’t show any admiration, she wasn’t some stupid Juliet waiting for Romeo to save her. Then she looked at other man. Dutch seemed like some sort of uncle to her, his eyes was warm and he was smiling despite he was even bigger and even more intimidating than Arthur. Then she looked at the guy on the floor and sighed. 

\- I wanna go with you. Even if you gonna murder me in few minutes, that’s still better than starving and freezing to death - her sarcasm was sharp even though everyone in room saw emptiness and fear hidden deep in green eyes. She was put on a horse by outlaw’s strong hands. He even gave her his coat, navy blue one with nice, tickling fur inside. Her feet still was freezing but she was greatful. She curled her arms around man’s body to get even more warmer during trip. He didn’t say nothing but he was nicely surprised with her touch, ‘cause no woman who just met him would throw her all over him like she just did. Figuratively.

\- And what’s your name? - she asked innocently, making his ear warm with her breath.

-Arthur Morgan, miss - he chuckled and clicked his tongue at his horse.

FEW DAYS LATER

It’s been some time since Iris’ve been rescued. She seemed genuinely happy and she smilled a lot towards others. She proved she can cook better than Mr Pearson and that she could hunt and use guns properly. At first she felt like outsider but Mary-Beth lacked friendship of someone similar to her so badly she basically adopted Iris. She quickly discovered that new girl can read and that they could talk about books and fantasize about fictional romances. That was Iris’s face she was showing towards woman in the camp. But she was reserved when it was coming to Micah. He was still throwing daggers with his eyes.

\- Look, I’m sorry I’ve hurt you, okay? I won’t say it again- Iris said with iritated tone of voice. She has hidden away from everybody and tried to enjoy plate of stew when Micah came, sat in front of her and also was eating but looking right into Iris’s face to intimidate her. He was looking like that at her for days, touching bandage wrapped around his head.

\- I don’t accept this apology. I’m gonna stare at you and follow you 'till you gonna lose your appetite and you gonna feel stalked and uncomfortable - and it’s gonna be me who’s gonna stalk you until you gonna leave the camp.  
Iris rolled her eyes and breathed havily.

\- I don’t even know why Dutch did bring you - he said with venom on his tongue and then looked at Arthur who joined both of you.

\- Is he bothering you again, Miss? - he sat next to her. Arthur was eating rather loudly but girl didn’t mind. It was slow, weird feeling in her stomach that made her accepting Arthur’s weirdness right away.

\- I’m okay. I guess we gonna have this hate relationship for a long time - she was smiling sarcastically and looking into her plate.

\- I’m gonna be your nightmare, Iris.

\- If you fancy me, you should ask me out properly - she showed him her tongue and left both man. Micah was still furious and was following her with his eyes. Arthur chuckled.

\- She’s something, isn’t she. If she wasn’t, Dutch wouldn’t keep her. We already have too much mouths to feed.

\- Listen, cowpoke, it’s not just about taking her with us. You both took her with us after she knocked me out with a fuckin’ rock. She’s mental.  
Arthur didn’t say nothing. It wasn’t his fight and he didn’t like taking to Micah. He knew that as long Iris is part of a family because of Dutch’s saying so, she was safe even when Micah threated her like this. She was good kid, too, already helping everyone around. He also liked her cooking for the camp, it was nice change comparing to Pearson’s skills. - Iris, Iris! - Abigail ran towards new girl. Her eyes was red and she said something to Iris that Arthur couldn’t hear. So he got up and come to listen.

\- He…he’s been missing for two days. Everyone here ignores me and says “it’s John” but he has me and he has Jack, he needs to be back!

\- Shhh… - Iris cuddled Abigail like a bear even though she was smaller than her - I will go and search for him, okay? Brother thought me how to track.  
Arthur’s brows furrowed.

\- You ain’t going nowhere, kid. Not alone.

\- Arthur, go with her then, I know you two will find him! Please, please find him!  
Outlaw nodded his head without saying anything. He knew that Abigail won’t leave him untill he’ll find that idiot husban of hers, Marston. There wasn’t any words that would calm Abigail when John was missing anyway. Iris was following Arthur, both on their horses. She noticed so far that he didn’t talk much and he was rather quiet and shy men, writing or sketching in his journal while he wasn’t running errands for Dutch. She was a little bit behind him, enough to examine him without being noticed or considered nosy.  
He was big and tall and had nice, sun-kissed face. He must be from different parts of country then, she told herself. His beard was freshly trimmed and Iris saw few scars on his face, noticing especially one of them, on Arthur’s chin while he was looking around for any tracks.

\- We gonna go on foot from now, horses won’t do here. John’s close I think- he wasn’t looking at her when he’s talking. He seemed occupied with everything around him, but Iris. She didn’t know he was just shy, because if it come to woman Arthur was always sure they are laughing at him. Girl just thought she’s not much of company. But that was kind of good. This way Iris could admire him for a little longer, he wouldn’t notice it.  
That wasn’t like she hadn’t love interests before or that she was a hopeless romantic either. But that weird feeling in her stomach was saying “you fancy him, you do”. But he won’t know it anyway, it’s Arthur she was thinking about, the most a-romantic person in the camp.  
She looked at him even when they were dragging John towards horses. Not constantly, but she peeked every few seconds. His brows were furrowed and he looked rather angry.  
Well, he was really angry when in no time he had to shoot few wolves. He asked Iris if she’s fine with warmth in his voice, ignoring John and his moans of pain completely. When those two returned to camp, Abigail started yelling at John almost immediately she saw him. They were cute, Iris thought.

FEW DAYS AFTER

Dutch finally decided they gonna have camp in different, warmer place. Snow begin to thawn and the whole bunch of changes coming made everybody excited. They packed everything they had and jumped on their wagon. Iris noticed that Arthur is sitting alone in the last of them and smiled under her breath. There wasn’t place next to other girls anyway.-Can I sit here, Mr Morgan? - she asked shyly looking into his eyes. It made her blush a little bit and she put hair behind her ear. She was the only girl in camp having loose hair and it complemented her little face because of deep, black color of them.

\- Sure, kid - he murmured. Wasn’t looking at her either, he refused to notice her rosy cheeks. In fact, when Iris heard being called “kid” something heavy dropped in her stomach. He sees me like someone immature, she murmured to herself.  
Girl took a place next to him anyway and the ride begin.Arthur wasn’t much of a talker and she started worrying he simply doesn’t like her. It was almost a month since she joined the gang and Arthur always seemed cold or not interested when he was sharing tasks with her. So she needed to ask but not too quickly so it won’t be creepy.

\- Are you hungry, Mr Morgan? - she chirped, smiling at him. He looked at her surprised.

\- And what do you have, kid?  
Ugh. And ouch.

\- I have beef jerky I made few days ago with Mr Pearson. Everyone already ate them but I have plenty left. Do you want some?  
He almost blushed. This girl was so kind to him since her first day and Arthur couldn’t figure out why. Normally woman treated him like he was air or creep. But she was no woman, she was young girl, Arthur thought, she will learn someday how to pity man like him.

\- If you want to share it with me - he smirked.

\- Why not? You are so nice - Iris saw his hands were occupied. She blinked and came with an idea. It will be even more better than just sharing.  
Her slender fingers slowly put a piece of dried beef to his mouth and he looked at her surprised. Her cheeks flushed and she brushed his lower lip by accident. With any other man it would be clear, she was sweet on him, but he just chuckled and started looking at road again.  
Was something wrong with her? It has to be my face that’s wrong. No way he didn’t notice that! If only I could be a little bit seductive - she breathed out with visible irritation.

\- Y'kay there, kid?

\- Yeah. Just thinking.

\- Oh, I get that. Dutch gave us plenty reasons to think, eh? You sure you want to rob that train with us? I know he told you to, but look at you!  
She did, actually. Her eyes looked at her slender body and stopped on her cleavage. Hm, that might be one of the problems, I’m flat as hell. She was obviously still thinking about what could put Arthur away. He wasn’t.

\- And what do you mean by that, Mr Morgan?  
He furrowed. Looked like he’s searching for right words.

\- You know, you look so fragile a-and pale. Sure you don’t want to stay in camp and cook or read a book with other girls? - he seemed awkward, like he didn’t feel good when commenting on Iris.

\- I will make you sure I am made for those things - she chuckled but it didn’t sound iritated, just sweet as always - I am no kid, Mr Morgan, just woman in her twenties. Tilly is younger than me.

\- But she’s different case. Just sayin’. I don’t wanna bother you - Arthur’s voice was kind and shy as always.

It has to be breasts then. Or maybe… maybe he doesn’t like short girls? Maybe I should do something with my hair, like all mature woman does? Or is it the fact I didn’t wear a dress yet?  
God, tell me how to make him notice me - she was thinking.


	2. Chapter 2

It was next day’s evening when they landed on new camp’s place. Everyone started arranging their tents and some of them decided to go to the lake and bath after long trip.

\- The water is so damn cold! But it was nice to take a bath after all those hours- Iris was talking to Mary-Beth and her teeth were chattering. She decided to wear woolen dress Mary gave to her, not being even slightly suspicious why Iris would wear a dress so badly. It was nice, wine red and warm one. She decided to tweeze her brows a little bit and she brushed her long, black hair putting them in loose bun. Even though she will undress and wear only chemise in her bed in less than 3 hours.

Iris looked around and sighed. All good places for a tent were taken and she couldn’t sleep with girls in their tent ‘cause it was too small. She had to prepare her own but there was only one way left to do that.

\- Knock, knock - she said awkwardly, knocking on one of polls holding Arthur’s tent. He was on his coot, drawing something in his journal. It catched her attention. Didn’t know he’s romantic soul who would sketch while sulking like this.

\- How can I help ya? - he closed the book and looked at her shyly. He analysed her posture in new clothes but very quickly so it wouldn’t scare her or make her uncomfortable. Girls usually didn’t like his sight on them.

\- Will it bother you if I will place my tent right next to yours? All good spots were taken when I took a bath - her cheeks flushed a little bit. She even tried to flirt with him and bat her eyes, while she squeezed fabric of her dress.

\- It’s rather if I won’t bother you, kid.

If I could I would devour you right here, Mr Morgan and you would be the only person not bothering me. I would undress you from your bright blue shirt which matches your eyes so good and I would let you pop my cherry…

\- You'right out there, kid? Asked ya if I won’t bother you.

\- N-no, never. Thank you, Mr Morgan - she jumped into the air and disappeared to set her tent. It was mirroring his and when she was looking above her trunk she could see him, deeply in his thoughts. Honestly, if they would rearrange it a little bit more they would have big, shared tent with two beds next to eachother. But she they wasn’t close enough for Iris to ask for it even if she wouldn’t mind.

Later that night they had supper prepared by her and Mr Pearson. Almost everyone was eating together but she noticed Arthur hidden in his spot. She went to her tent and sat on the coot mirroring his position.

\- I hope it tastes good? - Iris asked after few minutes. He raised her eyes surprised at her.

\- You eatin’ with my poor companion? I see everyone gathering around the fire.

\- They’re all nice and stuff but I like to eat in peace. You’re not bad to be with, Mr Morgan.

It sounded a little bit frivolous and she actually liked it, surprised with her own temper.

He blushed. Or rather tips of his ears did.

\- It’s just surprising 'cause yall girls are always eating together. And yes, this stew is amazing - he liked his fingers and brushed his dirty mouth with his sleeve.

Normally she would jerk away on this kind of behaviour but she giggled at sight of big man eating messy like that.

\- Girls are okay, especially Tilly and Mary, but Karen has…a little bit to intense character. Oh, and Dutch’s girlfriend. That lady hates me.

\- She hates everybody, dont'cha worry.

\- Today she hit Dutch with a book, saying he’s throwing me looks - Iris was giggling and she brushed loose hair behind her ear.

\- Looks, ya say? Oh don’t worry, you just new, that’s why he does that, kid.

\- She’s rather young too, you know. It’s just the make-up she uses, makes her look older.

\- Ya say? Nah, you still look like kid to me. With all those freckles and you being thin. Not so sure you should go with us to rob that train, I will have to watch you all the time - his voice was low and he chuckled.

Ouch, that was bad! So he doesn’t like freckles…It’s nothing I can do about it. But maybe if I’m gonna eat more I’ll stop being thin, get some bust maybe and then-

\- You sure you want to sit here with me? You seemed bored with my old feller talkin’.

\- I-I am not bored at all. Can you show me what are you drawing?

He brushed his chin, sign of him being shy and he passed her the journal. On two pages he drew their whole new camp.

\- I must say you can draw, Mr Morgan. You’ve got talent - she passed the journal back and their hands brushed against each other. She blushed again.

\- Talent that’s useless for sure - his voice was low and nice and he almost sounded like purring cat. Iris felt knot tying up in her stomach.

\- It’s not, it’s not! - she shaked her head - I find it really pretty. You could draw something for me one day - it was supposed to be flirt and she bit her lower lip but he didn’t notice that. He just cheered up.

\- What you like, then? I can draw it for you - he patted her arm in friendly manner. They were so close right now, their faces next to each other. She could smell him.

What do I like? Your lips, your intriguing eyes, the fact that your hair was so messy and the fact you smell like whiskey, cigarettes and sweat.

\- Flowers - she said plainly, looking at her feet - Any flowers are good. Or animals. I saw you sketching deer one day.

\- I’ve been hit on my head a lot so if I would forget remind me of it, kid - she looked at him once again and licked her lower lip, becoming red on her cheeks. He started looking at her quizzically.

\- I think you catched a cold, kid, you seem burning up. Better go to sleep, tomorrow’s a day too.

Knot in her stomach popped and she lowered her head. Kid, you say. Im gonna show you, one day I will gain weight, have some reall boobs and nice mature dresses and you will look at me the right way. She got up a little bit too quick, tears forming in corner of her eyes but he was facing her back almost immediately and he didn’t see.

\- Y-you right, I don’t feel my best - she answered with shaking voice and she rubbed her eyes - I’m…gonna get some rest. Goodnight, Mr Morgan.

\- Uh-, yea, good night - he read her bad, he was sure she’s sick but she seemed rather irritated by the fact he noticed? I will apologize tomorrow.

She put on the curtain between the halves of tent which was giving them privacy now and she sighed. At first she looked in small mirror she owned and analised her own face. You ugly, Iris.

Girl looked at herself quizzically. Big, green eyes with long lashes and nice, pink lips but then freckles happened, covering her nose and cheeks. Her hair were jet black but wavy instead of sleek locks of other girls around. Iris started undressing herself and she looked at her figure with disgust. She had round hips and long legs, but that’s it. She looked thin and had small breast and that was not what men would look at. It’s not what he would look at.

When she put on her night gown and layed down she looking at tents ceiling and thinking. Oil lamp in Arthur’s half stopped giving light, he was going to sleep. She heard him getting comfortable on his bed and after few minutes he was breathing heavily.

She drifted away in her sleep, thinking how it would be to cuddle his big frame.

Another few weeks passed and in this time Iris tried her best to prove she’s mature and strong but also femine at the same time. It was difficult to kill a man at 4 and then acting like a subtle lady few hours later. It was nice, warm evening and girls decided to go swimming after long day of work. Iris was so happy and relaxed as she and Mary - Beth was looking at red sky and Tilly with Karen was fooling around in water.

\- Can I tell you a secret? You will like it - Iris whispered. Mary seemed excited immediately.

\- Tell me, tell me! - she giggled

\- I fell in love - Iris whispered to her ear and her friend become red from blushing.

-No way! Who, who is he? Or maybe she? - Blond girl tickled brunette a little bit.

\- It’s him, yes. But I wouldn’t mind you…- they purred at each other and then burst into laugh.

\- Who? I bet it’s John, all girls are sweet on him and Abigail hates us for that.

-Nope!

\- Bill!

-No!

\- New O'Driscolls boy!

\- Ew!

\- Then who, Dutch?

\- You must be crazy! I mean…he’s not bad if you think about him but this red-head witch he’s with? I have no chances - Iris was laughing so badly.

\- You have to tell me! But then it has to be someone from outside the camp…

-No! He’s there, Mary-Beth, please don’t make me say his name out loud.

And then Mary became pale. Then red again. Then she got up.

-No! From all of them you choosed Arthur Morgan?!

\- Shhh! We are too close to the camp!

\- But why?! He’s sweet but we have never seen him with woman, you know. I think he’s a little bit weird about it. Dutch once laughed at him taking a bath with a dog when camp had one.

\- W-Well…he seems a little awkward and he’s like wild animal more than a man but he’s charming and he always complemented food I make and he always talks to me in the evening.

\- At least he talks to you, he usually doesn’t. To no one.

\- That’s my problem, he talks to me but he seemes to see me as a kid. I tried everything! Few days ago I was sitting with him and we was both reading a book and I looked at him so nicely, I tried my best to look at him with hazy, flirting eyes. And he asked me if I needed glasses because I blink a lot.

\- Well…I don’t know how to help you - Mary said as they were walking towards camp - usually it’s easy, a little bit of exposed skin and being close. You should try it.

\- I should…I should go to his tent dressing my nightgown for example?

\- Oh, that’s an idea! I saw it and it’s really cute and…hot.

-Mary- Beth, are you hitting on me? - she joked as they was passing Hosea’s tent. Girls heard him talking with Arthur and they would ignore but they heard Iris’s name. They started listening immediately, hiding behind the tent to eaves dropping.

\- And this new girl, Iris’s her name - Hosea said.

\- What’s with her?

\- Just wanted to know what you think about her - he seemed to tease Arthur a little bit.

\- It’s good kid, she seems to like my company. And honestly, I like hers, she doesn’t talk that much comparing to any of you fools - he cleared his throat.

\- I thought that you are much closer. Basically sharing a tent and talking every evening…

\- What d'ya say, Hosea?

\- How long have been since you had a woman, Arthur?

\- Not long enough to think about it again- his voice became angry in the nick of time - it’s kid we talking about, don’t get the wrong idea.

Iris inhaled sharply and bit her lower lip, while her eyes became glossy. But she listened, she couldn’t stop.

\- Isn’t it obvious, Arthur? She looks at you very odd way and she enjoys your company a lot, lot more than others.

\- I didn’t notice. By the way, she’s not stupid. I’m much older and I have past, just no way I would be with her. She doesn’t love me to start with. One day she will leave the camp to have a normal life.

Sound of tears dropping on Iris’s dress was the only sound she was making. She got up quickly and in a blink of an eye disappeared, running into the woods.

\- Iris?! - Mary- Beth tried to follow her but she tripped over one of tent’s strings. She sweared ugly.

This is bad, so bad - was all Iris was thinking. Her breathing heavy, her eyes red. She stopped in the middle of nowhere, just when she was sure all around her was dark forest. She didn’t even know why she was so agry. Maybe because he said out loud things I thought about myself? Maybe because she was sure that his ears getting red were sign of him considering her as someone hot?

But look at yourself, c'mon. When father lived, he always told you you gonna become a maid, because no man would touch something so fragile, that looks constantly sick. He was right, oh so badly right. And now Iris had to apologise to Mary-Beth for leaving her like that.It was dark night when she got back to the camp, everyone sleeping in their tents. Only one oil lamp was glowing. She decided to act like nothing happen, just not to lose his friendship, ever. So she took a deep breath and peaked her head inside his part of tent.

\- Just wanted to say good night, Mr Morgan - was all she said, smiling faintly.

\- Kid! You weren’t there for supper. Did something happened?

\- N-no…just small fight with girls - she lied without hesitation. Then smiled a little bit more so he won’t be suspicious. He always was but he was taking her lies as an answer, 'cause she lied when it would expose her feelings.

\- Small fight made you disappear without word? Y'got hot head then - he joked. His blue eyes were piercing her.

\- Maybe a little - he didn’t see nothing good about her anyway, she could become hothead in his eyes even it was inappropriate for woman.

\- Wanna talk about it?

\- With you? I-I mean we can but it’s nothing. Really.

\- You seem sad lately, kid. Is someone or something bothering you?

\- Ah…no, just stupid, girly things.

\- Girly things - he seemed a little bit scared now.

\- Interests of heart, to call it. Nothing too exciting, especially for you.

He became silent. So she wasn’t considering him as a close friend if she didn’t want to tell. He thought different for a second but…she was right, he was no friend.

\- Were you ever in love, Mr Morgan? - he heard her voice from behind one of trunks. She probably lied on her bed.

\- F'course I was. But if you askin’ me 'bout those things ya need to share with me first, ya know? What are those Interests of heart, huh?

She took deep breath. After few seconds she knew how to tell it without being obvious.

\- I just fell in love with someone who will never accept me. He’s good friend and that’s only reason I didn’t tell him yet. But I know….I heard what’s he talking about me, no need to share my feelings with him, because he considers me strongly as a friend, nothing more. It would make our relationship awkward.

He furrowed his brows. So she was seeing someone. He wondered who.

\- That sounds a lil’ bit bad, kiddo. Maybe I don’t look like but I know how to have a broken heart - he said as his eyes become glossy. She couldn’t see them anyway, so he didn’t hold back thinking about Mary right now - But if it’s your friend he shouldn’t judge ya, ya know. Even if he doesn’t share feelings with you. You sure, he does not?

\- One hundred percent sure - she said that very slowly because those words left bitter on her tongue - and I’m not afraid of being judged, I just know it would destroy our friendship.

\- He’s no friend then - Arthur replied shortly. He felt like dumbass but if she liked talking to him about all of this he felt appreciated.

Iris took deep breath. You are a friend. The closest one I have now after those weeks that passed. And I will cherish you forever, even if your lack of knowledge will hurt me sometimes.

\- He is. About this I’m sure. I really love this person. Thank you, Mr Morgan for listening to me - it sounded like she thanked him for listening but she was actually thanking him for everything.

It seemed like yesterday when they rescued her but it wasn’t. Many days passed and she already shared with him many thoughts but also many jobs, even dangerous one. They robbed trains together after all. They was murdering together. And every evening they were lying in their beds and talking. They usually looked at their tent’s ceiling but she didn’t mind. He seemed so sad and distanced, always worried. She also noticed his extremely low self-esteem, he always was talking that he’s not good man and that he’s stupid on account being hit on the head to often.

She had fallen asleep to those thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

In few long days she started accepting her fate, to call it this way. Iris told herself that it was fast crush and it will disappear also fast. They could be friends after all and she hasn’t manage to make it awkward yet. It was just really strange that Arthur had zero interest in any woman, not saying only about her. Once they went to saloon after one of errands and two working girls was throwing themselves on Arthur. “That’s not a way to talk a lady!” said one of them after he snapped something at her. “I didn’t know I was talking to a lady!’ he laughed, swallowing a glass of whiskey at once.  
Yea, Arthur Morgan was weird. And all those things about getting baths with dogs and being old and awkward, they seemed to be true. Iris accepted the fact her crush will never notice her the way she noticed him and she moved on. She just felt little bit sad looking at him and not sharing all her thoughts with him, but days were still the same. She was listening to him every evening.It was beautiful, warm day that smelled like forest and sun and everything Iris loved. She never understood why her family choosed to live in mountains. She was dressed in blouse without arms and sun kissed them, making it easier for freckles to appear. Deeply in her head, admiring everything around she was riding her horse towards Saint Denis. And she had her lovely companion.

\- Everything alright, Mr Morgan? You seem worried.

\- It’s stupid - he said, scratching his chin. So he was embarassed, Iris assumed.

\- You always ask about my stupid things. You can tell me, you are my friend - she smiled brightly. Forgetting about those romantic feelings towards him was easier when she remided herself that ’‘he’s just a friend”.

\- It’s the thing that Mary asked me for help. I saw her few times in last weeks…And I don’t know, kid. She seems to want me back again.  
Iris remembered Mary, Arthur shared his tales about her with Iris during one of their nigh talks. It was the same woman who left him, 'cause daddy forbid her to be with some dirty outlaw. Now she needed to behave mature, even if she hated that woman already just for stealing Arthur’s heart - she couldn’t do it so far.

\- You know, Mr Morgan, remember how it finished between you two last time.

\- She seems to be a little different woman now. I don’t even know if I’m not overthinking it, maybe she was just nice, ya know.

\- One way or another, you need to see yourself if she’s worthy second chance. And if you are not sure about her feelings - tell her. You both adults - Iris fixed her hair, now it was streaming down her back. Every man would look at her now, dreaming about their hands on small of her back. But if was Arthur Morgan. He scratched his chin again and nodded.

\- You smart with those things. Feelings I mean.

\- I just know what happens when you hide your feelings. Especially if you are bad at it, Mr Morgan.

\- Ya say I’m bad at keeping my emotions? - he seemed offended.  
She smiled sweetely. He was charming, especially when he was honest.

\- No, I’m just saying that you seem to honest and straight forward to play some weird games with anyone. You shouldn’t lie to Mary or hide your feelings towards her - she chewed her lip, 'cause next sentence could wreck her. But it won’t, not anymore - Especially if you really love her, Mr Morgan.

\- I- I don’t know, kid - he stuttered - you seem to know everything so I will trust you but I don’t know if she wants to be loved by me. Look at me.  
And she looked, oh she did. She looked at his gentle face covered in scars, his honey-blond hair, his emerald eyes and his big frame. He’s larger than life.

\- I’m looking and I need to say that Mary would be stupid turning you down. Even if you’re an outlaw, Mr Morgan, you deserve better than you think - she muttered.  
Iris was glad they were already in Saint Denis 'cause she would cry if she would talk to him more. She wanted visit town to buy herself more clothes, she saved big money from what gang stole since she joined them and she needed dresses, a comb, maybe some other stupid, girly things. They hitched their horses and splited.Hours later Iris had everything. Few nice dresses and other things that lifted her spirit. She even attended hairdresser and now her locks were a little bit shorter. She stopped to look at herself in shop’s window. She wasn’t that bad…One day probably some man will fall for her and she will settle for him and give him kids. Romance’s from Mary-Beth books seemed beautiful but her prince charming wasn’t hers and that was it.  
She stopped at corner of the street when she saw them.  
Arthur was talking to woman who had to be Mary. And she was gorgeous. Iris started envy her right away. Her cute dress, her big, doe eyes, her neatly arranged her and…and of course she envied her Arthur.  
Brunette hid herself and with strong shame feeling started eavesdropping at them. It seemed they just left theater, which meant Arthur took Mary for a date. So it was really her fault she didn’t deserved him, 'cause obviously he liked woman despite what girls in camp was saying.

\- I really miss you, Mary - he said and Iris’s heart dropped on the floor. But she wanted to listen, she wanted to know every small detail Mary had but she lacked.

\- I miss you two, Arthur. Ah, you still something, aren’t you.

\- You seem to be the only one to think that - he laughed nervously. He fancied her, oh he did. Iris’s lips became thin line. Their heads was close, now closer and then they kissed.  
She covered her mouth as she watched. She shouldn’t to save her heart and it was creepy what she was doing but couldn’t stop. Their mouth seemed to fit each other perfectly.  
If Iris’s heart dropped on the floor, now it was just sad puddle and all she saw was fireworks but in very bad way. Like she almost fainted.  
Quickly and swiftly she backed out of area and marched towards their horses. Big clock on one of building said that if she’s gonna get back to them, Arthur will also come soon and they will be back to camp.  
Few minutes passed and she saw him coming in her direction. Arthur’s face seemed so happy and he looked directly at her face. Two of them grabbed their horses and headed back to the camp.

\- You were right, kid - Arthur started out of the blue.

\- About Mary? - Iris was looking directly in front of her. Glad her pop was alcoholic who couldn’t stand tears and she learned to hold them back other way she would cry by now.

\- Yes, 'bout her. She seems to share feelings with me, you know.  
Brunette noded, smiling at him. It wasn’t his fault he was oblivious and that she was crybaby and…and a kid. And what’s more Arthurs mood was lifted.

\- But I don’t think I’m gonna push her further. She would like me to work decent job, you know. Sleep in bed every night. Move to Saint Denis.

\- Well - she took the deepest, the most calming breath as she said - that’s probably because she loves you and want to be close.

\- But that ain’t who I am. I will always be like that and probably die ugly some day. It would be easier if she joined us like you. But she won’t.

\- It’s not for everybody, I get her. She is town girl and from what you said her father has big influence on her. That’s not good.

\- Yea, you right kid - he cleared his throat - No woman would want this life for herself just to be with man like me.

\- I would - she bursted out. She almost panicked but he missed sense of her words, he wasn’t shoked at all.   
So Iris continued.

\- When I lived with my pop and brother I wanted town life for myself. My father always was telling me that no man would like skinny chicken like me and that I won’t get married. So I decided I’m gonna move to town and enroll to university. In this time…he was already drinking too much and we were poor, Olgierd’s the only one who provided us with food and I started stealing books - her hands was shaking a little bit as she reminded herself those embarassing stuff - and I learned from them to enroll and become a doctor. From then father was saying not only I’m skinny chicken who lacks any womanhood but also that no one would go to female doctor. I wasn’t stupid kid, you know Mr Morgan. Just born in wrong family, or some shit like that. And I knew that if I’m gonna work hard and steal, I will make my dreams come true. One day pop was really angry and when I wasn’t home he grabbed all those books, threw them on the ground in front of our house, poured whisky on them and set them on fire.  
Arthur was looking at her differently now. Like she scarred him. But Iris smiled and him and finished:

\- What was my point is that I won’t be any town girl who goes to school. I won’t be anybody’s wife too, too late for me to look after a husband since now, among town people I’m considered too old to marry. But I started liking living like we live, Mr Morgan. At least we can be free and our feelings are free, we can love whoever we want among our kind.

\- You seem sad, kiddo. Like y'didn’t mean those things you saying.

\- I do…I just met this person we were talking about one day. I think he turned me down.

\- I-I am sorry - his horse catched up hers and Arthur caressed her back. She shivered like she was supposed to fall apart under his touch. He never touched her before and even though it was platonic touch her heart skipped a beat - I am no good with words, ya know. I can listen to ya tho.

\- There isn’t much to listen. We are clear now. Friends it is.

\- Am sorry, ya very beautiful a-and smart ya know, ya don’t deserve to be pushed around like this.  
It was too much. He just called her smart and beautiful after he kissed love of his life and he didn’t even know for real why she was so upset and he was saying all those things after many weeks when he turned her down calling her a kid and not noticing how sweet she was on him.

\- Thank you, Arthur. You saying those things…it means a lot for me - it was first time she called him by his name. Big knot in her stomach ached and she was glad they entered the camp. She ran away from him immediately, throwing things she bought inside her tent.  
Almost everyone from camp seemed to be gathered around the campfire, someone played the guitar and she noticed crate of beer. Iris felt like getting drunk, really drunk and fall asleep wasted so she won’t have to talk with Arthur tonight. She grabbed one beer and downed it immediately, Mary-Beth throwing her look full of questions when Arthur also joined the gathering. He sat on the log and made space for Iris, patting it softly. Iris saw it but decided to play dumb and blind as she sat next to Dutch.

\- Where’s ya girl, Dutchy? Almost miss her throwing daggers at me- She patted his arm and passed him bottle of beer.

\- Not my girl anymore and thanks God for that, crazy bitch.

\- Sorry to hear that. But I need to tell you my heart is also broken. Love’s a bitch, ain’t it? - she smirked as she raised a toast and their bottles clicked together.

\- Love is a bitch, indeed - he said slowly as his arm suddenly wandered around her waist. She blushed.  
Arthur didn’t like that. Something felt off with Iris and he couldn’t tell what. She was nice to him as always and she really helped him out with settling things with Mary down but she seemed to drift apart from him. Of course, you old fool, you lied to yourself you are her closest friend here when actually she just pity you. And he didn’t like that she and Dutch were so close right now. She was only 20, looking out for her 21st birthday and she let this man who’s even older than Arthur himself throwing his hands around her body. Who saved him from getting up and saying one word too much was Mary- Beth who catched Iris’s arm and dragged her away. He saw them disappearing in a distance behind the trees.  
Arthur decided to listen to them.

\- Hey, you’ve been gone whole day and now I see you try to get drunk as quickly as possible. I don’t have to say I am your girlfriend and I know when something’s up. Spill the beans then, don’t make it harded for me - Blonde was caressing Iris’s back as they sat down on wooden log.

\- He turned me down today - she said and then she become whispering, making it even harder for Arthur to understand.

\- H-him? Are we talking about the same person? He wouldn’t say anything mean toward a horse, not saying girl like you!

\- Well…it wasn’t the way you think it was. I just…I just saw him with somebody else and it is clear for me now.

\- You don’t say! - Mary’s eyes became big and she covered her mouth.

\- Am saying what am saying. But I am not mad at him, you know. Can’t compare myself to sweetie he’s in love with.

\- Is she…is she older than you?

\- For sure! Better looking, too - she looked down at her bust as she squeezed them - And obviously she’s curvy and she has those big, doe eyes, you know. No wonder he fancy her.  
Then Arthur heard her muffled crying. Who was she talking about? Is the guy she’s seeing cheating on her? Why would she talk with him then?

\- So…now you at least know he’s not made for you, sweetheart - Mary-Berth murmured, holding her closely.

\- I am not made for anyone, look at me! She even wears black hair better than me and I was born with it, Mary-Beth!

\- Shh, you gonna be loved…Look at Dutch, he’s totally sweet for you. Molly left him few days ago and I heard it was because he wanted you.

\- No! No, don’t say that, please. I am the reason they argued this much lately? That’s even worse - now she was ugly crying - I have no interest in Dutch! What a mess!  
It was so bad. She didn’t told him about all those things? Arthur felt like he needed to ask so he hid carefuly, seeing Mary-Beth leaving so Iris could cry herself in peace as she asked. He waited few minutes and then decided to walk on her.

\- Hey, kiddo, you okay there?  
She started crying even uglier when she heard him. He wouldn’t tell it’s because of him anyway now.

\- Yes, yes - she waved his hand, wiping her face with muslin tissue - Just small melt down.

\- Can you tell me about it? I-I know I am not much of a friend but I said I can listen.  
She inhaled sharply and decided. It’s do or die. If he will turn her down it will be easier for her to left the camp, like she planned last night.

\- Arthur, I-


	4. Chapter 4

\- Arthur…Mr Morgan. I can’t…I can’t hide what I think anymore. So I’m gonna tell it, once, but I make you sure once is gonna be too much anyway. 

\- I’m gonna listen to ya whatever you wanna say - his brows furrowed at her words and he sat next to her.  
Iris raised her head, showing red frame around deeply green eyes. She bit her lip as her hands was fidgetting on the wet tissue. And then she leaned in, placing gentle kiss on his lips, making him jump up as he opened his emerald eyes in surprise. Iris’s lips were soft, little bit wet and salty from tears and she smelled like honey and flowers and her hair was soft too, tickling his face. Then he pushed her away, waking up from weird sensation that started devouring him.   
Iris wasn’t surprised, when Arthur’s strong hands pushed her away, touching her naked arms. She did what his actions were asking for. She smiled at him sadly and putting lock of hair behind her ear.

\- Listen, um - he began - I don’t know what to say except fact I ain’t expecting that…- Arthur scratched his chin.

\- No, don’t say anything. I…I know what you think about it. Discovered weeks ago when I heard you talking with Hosea. 

\- It’s really nice but I ain’t man to meddle with your heart after a heartbreak. I’m not even good friend for you. Not good enough - he stuttered, searching for any right words - Whoever hurt you today isn’t worth you doing things you would normally regret. 

\- Aren’t you the most oblivious person I know, Arthur Morgan - she got up quickly, losing her temper. She pressed cold bottle of bear to her temple and collected her thoughts. 

He didn’t understand, not at all. Oblivious? 

\- No one broke my heart - she said finally - and I thought it’s gonna be clear once I kiss you. 

\- No one broke your heart, eh? Then what was it all about? You were sulking for weeks and now you kiss me, you crazy woman like I would mean anything in all that.

\- Y-you mean a lot, you blind fool! But you don’t get it at all! No one ever was with me, Arthur! First time you asked me what was wrong I-I couldn’t tell you for real that I love you since the day I saw you because I just heard what you told Hosea! You are the friend who doesn’t see me the way I see him, you! And I didn’t want to talk with you about it, especially when you and Mary started to get along with each other…You kissed her today, I saw you. And I decided to never tell you anything but I’m drunk and you pushed me!   
She was shaking, looking directly into Arthur’s eyes. That’s it, this is the end.   
Arthur opened his eyes in shock and surprise and he wanted to say anything but he couldn’t so he was catching air like fish without water. 

\- I said it will wreck my friendship with this person - she whispered weakly, looking at him.

-I don’t know what to say, kid…

\- Don’t call me like that! - she bursted out. Her eyes was glossy again.

\- You don’t have to be more obvious, really - she continued - I got it when you told Hosea I’m just a kid who likes your company. But don’t call me that, not now, when I try confess to you - tears flushed on her cheeks. 

\- I am sorry…- was all Arthur could say - I told you I ain’t no good with words and I-I am really sorry this turned away like that.

\- You sorry - she whispered, looking at her feet - So…you reject me?

\- I ain’t no match for you, that’s sure - he reached out for her to at least cuddle her and make her more calm but she made a step back and shaked her head with agreement. 

\- I get it. It’s me who should be sorry for putting you in situation like this, Mr Morgan. Thanks for listening to me, though. It means a lot that you did. She turned around and ran away from him, leaving him with thoughts about her.   
When Mary-Beth noticed her she knew something was off immidiately although she didn’t manage to ask, because Iris grabbed another beer, downed it and crashed bottle on the floor. 

\- What ya think you doin’ ya crazy? - Micah look at her with disgust. The same way he was looking from the start. 

\- And how does it look, ya moron? I’m breaking the glass and getting drunk.

\- Ya won’t speak towards me this way!

\- Make me - she almost whispered, rolling up her sleeves.  
And then it happened. Micah jumped on her, completely ignoring any curtesy about not beating woman up. He tried to grab Iris’s throat but she dodged. She was small, really small and she planned to use that as a weapon.   
Everyone around fire started yelling and laughing. If Micah’s attempt to hurt Iris would be succesful Dutch or John would probably stop him, but it was almost like watching wild bull dancing a ballet with a cat. So instead of tearing Micah and Iris apart, they were waching.  
He tried to grab her, but he couldn’t, alcohol and anger giving her swiftness. Every punch he directed towards her was hitting only air.   
And then she snapped.   
Iris grabbed Micah by his collar and knocked him out with her head hitting his nose.  
“Ooooh!” said everybody, tone of voice different according to every person. 

\- You’ll wish you were dead when I’ll got you - man said, removing blood from his face with sleeve.

\- If you will got me - she laughed at him - All you do is those weird attempts, clumsy boy!

\- You are the worst nightmare I ever saw, no wonder no one consider you woman!

\- Oh, shut it - it was probably the beer, probably the anger and deep sadness, but mostly fact he was right that made her grab a chair and break it on Micah’s heard. Poor bastard were out. Iris dropped a piece of chair on the floor, took a deep breath and said:

\- Bless him and his soul, thank you very much.

And with that words she turned around and walked away.It was late night when she heard Arthur entering his half of tent. He breathed heavy and she could see his silhouette on piece of cloth that was spliting those two tents as he undressed himself. She looked into small mirror wondering why she was born ugly and not loved. But it was all clear between them two now, wasn’t it. Everyone disappeared in their tents and the only light there was was Arthur’s oil lamp. Iris assumed he had fallen asleep, she heard Arthur’s snoring. She got up and jumped above trunks to get to his half, almost tripping on this cloth hanging inbetween.   
He was sleeping, drunk and calm, his face seemed so nice now. He…looked kind like someone, who you could call home. But she couldn’t. He and Dutch saved her few months ago and it was time to become something on her own, without help of girls or Dutch.   
Iris went and packed all she had and threw it on one of horses, the one she was usually using. She was feeling bad about stealing it but she promised herself she will put it back, someday, on night like this, even if they gonna move their camp. She also decided not to steal the tent she was using.She entered Arthur’s tent again. She noticed him having goosebumps so she covered him with some blanket and was standing there, looking at him. She noticed his journal and she picked it up. First thought there was to read it but it wouldn’t be right. Iris didn’t need to know what’s inside Arthur’s head, she knew already. 

_I don’t know what to say, kid._

She borrowed a piece of paper from journal and a pencil and she begin to write. She writed long letter but it wasn’t meant for Arthur. It was letter for Dutch, explaining him that she’s going and thanking him for all he’s done for her. She also apologised for stealing one of his horses and the fact he and Molly was apart, she wrote that she wished them all the best, no matter what. And then she borrowed another piece of paper. But it wasn’t a letter any sort, just small text.

_I’m sorry and thank you -_ it said - _you are really good friend, no matter what you think about yourself. You are not stupid, ugly or old either. I need to go now, maybe we gonna meet someday again. Goodbye and sorry again._  
 _I.R._

Night was warm and nice, when she was wondering on her horse, now far enough from camp. _It’s the way it should be,_ she said to herself, _you knew it’s gonna go down, didn’t you._

Crickets were singing their songs and she smiled faintly. She was thinking about his eyes. And she felt ashamed, all those months she spent with everyone in the camp was mainly for Arthur and Mary-Beth. Now she remided herself she didn’t write anything for Mary-Beth, but she knew Dutch will tell everyone anyway.   
_“I ain’t no match for you, that’s sure”_


	5. Chapter 5

It was two months now since she left. Arthur was sitting on his bed, looking directly at his shoes, thinking.  
I ain’t no match for you, that’s sure - hisown words were echoing in his head.  
Maybe he was a match for her after all. She had to be in love with him if she left after he said it won’t be like she thought and he couldn’t do anything to ask her again. Maybe…it would be different this time and he shouldn’t say all those things? He wasn’t bad man. He was the worst. But she loved him for some reason. Maybe he should speak with her back then, telling about Eliza and Isaac, to prove he is no one to love, especially for a young girl. No way she would stay by his side after discovering it. And if she did…  
Today was the day Dutch decided we gonna talk with Colm. Arthur didn’t like the idea and didn’t believe anyone should trust this man. But it was Dutch’s plan and all he was doing for last 20 years was making Dutch’s plan work out.  
So they met with Colm and shit went down.He was hanging upside down in some kind of basement, he just got shot and all he had right now was his union suit, sticking to blood running from his wound. He looked around to notice a movement in basement corner. Then he heard metalic sound - handcuffs.

\- Hey - she said and he recognised her voice right away, but it seemed she didn’t see him - I guess it’s two of us now, buddy.  
All he could do was to cough and to try find her and try to look at her like she was his only reason to be sane.

\- They caught you too, didn’t they? I don’t know what they do with man here. I probably don’t have to tell you what they do to women.

\- Iris - he grunted.

\- Mr Morgan! - she gasped. But she didn’t seem surprised to see him. He saw her crawling towards him, her wrists were covered in blood and she was wearing only a nighgown. That pretty nightgown that Mary-Beth liked.

\- How you got caught? You never do. O my god! - she covered her face with hands when she noticed how badly injured he was.  
He couldn’t speak. And for some reason all he wanted to say now was “I think I love you too” so it wouldn’t help.

\- You have some luck, Mister - she continued - I can reach this lockpick from the table and pass it to you. You gonna be free. I can’t lockpick…that’s why it’s useless to me.  
And she did. Arthur were fidgeting with it for few seconds and then he was free. Badly injured and almost dead but free. O'Driscolls were stupid enough to leave his guns there.

\- What about you? Where is the key? - was all he said.

\- I-I don’t know Mr Morgan - she murmured, looking at him with faint small and her lashes were covering her eyes in a shadow - I don’t think it’s there. They already know me, I tried to run away few times and they wouldn’t risk it.

\- Doesn’t matter - he said briefly and started lockpicking her handcuffs - I’m gonna get you out of here.

-Look at you…real gentelman, helping me even though I’m just a kid and you are dying, Mr Morgan - he lifted his gaze to look at her. She wasn’t sane right know, she looked drugged.

\- I ain’t liking what you are saying, Missy, you mock me?

\- Oh I could say you a lot of things you would like, Arthur Morgan, but I don’t think you would listen to them - she looked into his eyes and now it was clear, she had this wild fever which made her almost insane.

\- How long they kept you there? - he asked as he lockpicked her handcuffs, throwing them away. He almost forgotten how he was feeling right know, all he was thinking about was her.

\- I don’t know Mr Morgan, but it seemed so long…especially when they touched me. Oh, they did. Colm was saying weird things to me and I’d like to forget them…- she murmured into his ear - they would be nice only if you were telling them.  
He started boiling from anger. He decided to kill every man around here and then get back, get her away from here, bring her back to the camp.  
And he did. He killed those bastards and he was carrying her in her arms towards his horse.

\- Wait, I think it’s horse I stole from Dutch out here - she murmured sleepily, looking above his arm - We can get it, too. Was he mad though?

\- No one was mad about what ya did. Just sad. And you said you will return the horse, for some reason he believed in this.  
She nodded her head and cuddled to his back as they were galloping on his horse. The task of rescuing her wasn’t done and now what kept Arthur sane was his will to save Iris.  
As their horse entered the camp they both has fallen on the grass.

\- O my fuckin’ God! - was all Mr Grimshaw said.  
Home sweet home. It had to be days since she fainted. She had this feverish dream of being rescued by Arthur and he brought her back to camp and…

\- Mornin’ - he said nonchalantly, peeking at her from his side of tent. It was like back then, just different place as gang was occupying another location.  
She opened her eyes and she touched her temple. She felt that she has some wet cloth on her forehead and she wasn’t where she thought she will be.

\- I am dead, right? - Iris asked, trying to look in voice’s direction, but the light was to strong for her - No way I made out of there with fever and slitted wrists. I have to be dead. And you are here, Mr Morgan, that means I’m not only dead but that someone had to burry my sorry ass already.

\- Ya’re not dead, thanks to me - he cleared his throat. She could hear he’s smoking a cigarette.

\- It’s always like that, in books - she said - protagonists know he’s dead and some kind of ghost or angel tell them they are not. But it’s not a book.

\- If it was book I would find you without being kidnapped first, eh?

\- That depends - she said - It works like that only with princess and their prince charming. I have no prince charming. But if I had they would find me like you said, ofcourse.

\- I ain’t prince but I helped you. You were almost dead, girl, with pneumonia and wild fever making you babble.  
She opened her eyes again. Light was unbearable but she turned her face towards him. It was really him, those eyes, this body, this deep voice, visibly patched up and dragging from a cigarette. 

\- How long…I was out? - she pulled herself up, leaning on one of her elbows. Her lips were dry and when he offered her a glass of water she downed it right away.

\- Not that long to think in what state you were back then. I think it’s a week now.

\- A week? I don’t remember even teeny tiny thing about last 3 weeks so that’s not bad - she murmured. When she looked at him the feelings she had for him seemed to hit her on the back of her head, flooding her heart with dirty, cold water of being turned down on that feral night.

\- I wasn’t exactly perfect either, It’s first day I tried to walk aroun’, piss off Dutch and Micah.

\- You smell like days without leaving your bed, Mr Morgan - she replied and her voice was surprisingly cold, she was giggling though - but don’t worry, that means I smell even worse.  
He couldn’t start a conversation with her. He was deeply in his thoughts, thinking about things she said to him when he rescued her.

\- Did someone hurt ya? - he finally said it and it was wildly harsh on her ears. Because they did. They undressed her, touched her and only God himself knew why no one raped her right away. Maybe to play with her longer? It was disgusting and it lasted for days. She was disgusting too now.

\- You shouldn’t worry about it, Mr Morgan. You saved me, I’m safe thanks to you. Thank’s to being lucky but mostly to you.

\- I wanna know if they did - he got up and sat next to her. She jerked away.

\- It’s none of your business…

\- I rescued you and brought you back, now you are my business, ‘kay?

\- It does not work like that - she whispered - I’m just thankfull, really. You should’ve been leave me behind.

\- Wh-what? - he stuttered - Why would I do such thing, kid?

\- I ain’t no kid, especially now - she looked directly into his eyes, throwing daggers and shaking - They let me know I am no kid. Maybe if I were…Maybe if I were they would simply slaughter me without humiliating me like that. But I wasn’t. I never heard someone call me those names before - for a little moment he thought she’s gonna cry and he’s gonna cuddle her and tell her he is sorry and that now he knows that he loves her too, but she didn’t, she went on and her voice sounded like it was soaked in venom - I don’t know what they planned but someone from them visited me every day. It was usually Colm, I think. Oh, he was the worst of them, he was the one to undress me first. 

\- Stop, kid, you don’t have to say all of it, I get it - he reached for her cheek but she turned away and rised her head high, like she was too proud for his touch.

\- I ain’t kid now, Mr Morgan - she whispered again - Now I’m just a woman who has no value.  
At this words she got up from her bed and looked around. Her things were there, so the horse she stole from Dutch probably were here too.  
Arthur was taken back by her. He wasn’t only late to love her properly but he was late rescuing her from O'Driscolls. If he knew she was kidnapped, he would come ealier but now he just couldn’t find words. A woman with no value.

\- Dutch! - she called out for him thru the window, waving at him. He looked at her and waved back, smiling faintly - Sorry I returned your horse this way, Dutch!

\- He seems to be sulking, ya know - Arthur stand next to her and scratched his chin - Since you left he says there is no woman he could trust.

\- Like I was close to him or anything. It was just a stupid crush, he should know better himself by now.

\- I think it is one of those hopeless cases, ya know? Unreasonable one.

\- Then we have something in common. Falling in love stupid way. But to think that now… I will say sorry and maybe even consider setteling for him, Mr Morgan.

\- Why don’t you call me Arthur, darlin’? Like you did few times?  
She looked at him surprised and then burst into laugh, the most honest one as she patted his arm 'causing a little bit of pain in wound where he was shot.

\- Because that’s what you are to me, aren’t you? And to you I’m just a kid, Mr Morgan. 

Iris left him shoked and trembling when he realised that maybe he has no words to fix things between them.


	6. Chapter 6

Another few days passed and he felt better. Physically. Arthur’s head on the other hand was mess. He couldn’t start a conversation, he was just following Iris with his eyes, whenever he could. She seemed well now, eating a lot and enjoying her pretty dresses she bought herself being away. She looked different now or it was only his perspective that allowed Arthur to see Iris in very different light.   
And he secretly loved it. Her hair was bouncy and smelled nice, her eyes were like two emeralds, covered by dark eyelashes and her lips seemed so sweet and welcoming. He loved to look at her when she was chewing them while she was deeply in her thoughts. He just noticed that her pale, slim face was covered with freckles in very pretty way and that she had them on arms too. Arthur tried not to think too much of other freckles whereabouts.   
But he couldn’t now. Now it was different. She was back, safe and it was such fresh and uplifting feeling.   
Her small breasts were always covered by her dresses, but he could see thru them. He was sure that her boobs would fit his hands perfectly. And this petite frame she has, waist so thin he could pick her up by wraping his arm around it and then those hips, perfectly proportioned. Long, long legs that could wrap around him while they would fuck. _Easy now, cowboy._ He was lying under big tree and sketching when he heard footsteps. He looked up and saw Iris’s face, sun covering her pretty head and making halo around it.

\- Mrs Grimshaw told me that I will wash clothes or I will hunt something to eat with you, Mister Morgan. 

\- And you don’t want to wash my dirty shirts, don’t'ya? 

\- I ain’t no wife to do such things. Maybe Tilly accepts it but I won’t. Wonder why this old rag doesn’t do anything but screaming at me - Iris’s eyes were throwing daggers towards lady she just mentioned - Anyway, I am ready whenever you are.

She was wearing different clothes today and he liked them, even though it was jeans and shirt. He kind of wanted to say it but he wasn’t brave enough. With bow on her back and braided hair she was riding her horse, humming some melody only she knew. Iris was following Arthur, who knew better where to hunt in those location. Day was amazing. 

\- What we gonna catch, Mr Morgan? Few rabbits? Maybe a buck? Or… - she giggled - A bear. We would have food for weeks from beast like this.

\- Pearson would make it uneatable anyway - he smiled under his breath.

\- That’s why I’m back. Tell me the truth, you rescued me because Pearsons stew is poisonous, eh?   
Arthur couldn’t answer. He couldn’t not think what would happen to her if he wasn’t lucky or damned enough to sit in the same prison as she. It wasn’t funny either. 

\- Sorry, Mr Morgan. Already forgot ya hate to talk with everyone around the camp. 

\- I don’t hate talking to you - was all he said. They hid in bushes and were waiting for anything big to come and drink from the river in front of their eyes. Minutes passed by and they haven’t exchange any word, so Arthur started to sketch in his journal. 

Suddenly the piece of paper Iris left for him more than two months now fell from the last page of book. He wanted to catch it but she was quicker. 

\- Ha! - she looked surprised, unfolding piece of paper but when she read it she looked rather dissapointed - Why would you keep it? Sure it belongs to trash now.

And teared this paper apart into tiny pieces. Arthur got up suddenly.

\- Why you destroyed something that belongs to me? - He snarled, leaning in her direction.

\- It wasn’t big deal, Mr Morgan, come on. Just some stupid things I wrote to ya. 

\- So…It wasn’t true after all? You don’t think those things about me?  
Silence again. She started to sweat when Mother Nature decided to rescue her. Enormous deer with massive antlers was drinking from the stream.  
She didn’t want to startle it by saying anything to Arthur so she grabbed her bow, inhaled and sent an arrow. It pierced deers eye as it whined and fallen down.   
Arthur looked at her amazed, forgeting that they were falling out half hour ago. 

-Nice shot, Iris.  
Iris. That’s my name. He never used my name before.

\- T-thanks I guess? Now we can head back so I won’t bother you anymore, eh? 

\- You don’t bother me - he whispered but she didn’t hear. She couldn’t, she was already next to hunted deer. - You don’t bother me - he said out of the blue when she entered the room they shared. It wasn’t technicaly a room, more than a floor divided by old bookstand with their beds placed on opposite sides of it. But he could see her thru gaps in

shelves as she sat down and begin to unbraid her hair. Suddenly he wanted to touch them. 

\- Thank you, Mr Morgan, that’s very nice of ya.

\- I mean…you really don’t bother me. Ya said ya bother me ealier but ya don’t.

\- Thank you again, I guess? - she shaked her head like she didn’t understand why he was saying that again.

\- Ya really…don’t bother me. I missed ya.

\- That’s very nice of you, Mr Morgan. Mary- Beth told me she missed me too. I gues friends miss each other.   
Silence.

\- So you’d still consider me as yer friend?

\- You talk weird things, Mr Morgan. Why do you even care? We all are friends here, more or less. You saved my life, too.

\- S-say you like me like you did before - he bursted out, becoming all red. He hoped she won’t use his way to look at him now, between dusty shelves.

\- I like you, Mr Morgan.

\- No, not like that - he got up suddenly, walking circles near his bed.

\- What d'you mean? 

\- You said all those t-things to me, back then. I-I want to hear them again.   
Now Iris became silent.   
Why was he doing that? She cried enough and she spent really long time telling herself they gonna be friends and only friends. Her eyes became glossy so she closed them.

\- Tell me you like me, Iris - now his voice were much more clear and she heard him closer. She opened her eyes to see him sitting on the floor. 

\- I just told you that. I like you.

\- Not like that.  
She got up slowly and sat in front of him. 

\- Like what?

\- Like…back then. You know - his face was even more red than his union suit was - like you did when you kissed me. 

She blushed too as she put strand or her jet-black hair behind her ear.

\- I don’t think I want to say them again, Mr Morgan. They was pointless back then and they will be now. I know I shouldn’t fall in love with you, I know that and I’m sorry. 

\- Don’t be sorry…- he whispered and touched her cheek. It was nice and soft and also a little bit wet. For his surprise she carresed back of his hand as he touched her. 

\- I’m not sorry for loving you. I’m sorry because I shouldn’t say it out loud back then. We would still be friends, robbing trains and killing men - she chuckled - Now it’s awkward. 

\- You…You think you still love me?

\- W-why you doin’ that? Just stop, please. Yes, I still love you. 

\- Say it again - he murmured as he inclined to her face.

\- I love you - she whispered, her body trembling. 

Arthur kissed her gently and slowly, but his touch was demanding. He wrapped one of his arms around her waist, the other one playing with her soft hair. She smelled so nice and she was warm and her lips were welcoming and she kissed him in that shy way like she never kissed anyone.

-Iris was kissing him like no one before. It was mainly fact that she didn’t kiss anyone beside him in her life. She was trembling under his touch. He smelled still the same way she remembered -cigarettes, whiskey and sweat. It felt like a dream, unreal but sweet and innocent. She parted their lips and looked him into the eyes. 

\- You’re warm…and you feel like home - her voice was shy. He barely could hear what she’s saying.   
Arthur cuddled her tightly, rocking her a little bit in his arms. Iris could hear his heart, it’s sound bold and loud. 

\- I wanted to talk to you, Iris. ‘Bout everything - he scratched his chin again - I ain’t good man and you should know it.

\- You are…we just have diferent criteria.  
He couldn’t help but smile.

\- I don’t want to hurt you, you know? I had girl like you, just as young but much more naive. She had a kid with me. Maybe I don’t look like family man but I was looking after them, I brought my son toys but I guess…I wasn’t around enough - his voice darkened and he sat away from her. He was looking at his feet while saying all of it. 

\- One day I wanted to visit them and I saw the house empty, completly wrecked. Behind it there was two graves. Neighbours told me that some gang murdered Eliza and Isaac for 10 dolars she had. 

She let those words sunk in. Now it was easier to understand why Arthur was pushing her away. She furrowed her brows and placed slender hand on Arthur’s arm.

\- I wished you would tell me ealier, Arthur. I would understand you better.   
He blinked looking at her like she was a ghost. It made her brows furrow again. 

\- I expected you to at least yell - he mumbled out.   
\- Why would I yell, explain. 

\- 'Cause I ain’t good man. I’m just not. I have too much blood on my ugly hands. And you? You are smart and clever although you are much younger. I feel even worse when I think about the fact that I won’t probably give anything good to you but stress and more death and- 

\- Could you stop there for a second - Iris asked rather harshly but she quickly reflected to explain. She put his big, calloused hand in her delicate small hands and smiled shyly.

\- What’s done is done, Arthur. I can tell you loved Eliza and your son and that’s what really matters. At least to me. It tells a lot about you as y o u, not the image of bad old Arthur you think you are. And those things about me? It hurts me to think you feel like that. But to make you sure you will bring good things to my life I can tell that already. For example, I will stop being cold at night.  
Then Iris pecked a kiss on Arthur’s cheek.   
He opened his mouth and then closed them. His eyes blinked few times and he opened his mouth again.

\- I-I just don’t get it, why would you choose me? You could have anybody, I mean look at yourself, girl! 

\- It’s not about anybody. It’s about having someone who makes your heart jump, I can’t believe you don’t get it! I was after you for months, Arthur Morgan.   
He started looking at the floor again and he was sulking, oh like hell he was. 

\- You know we can leave it just like that…if you are not sure about all of this. You could…you could tell me when you will feel ready? - Iris said finally. _You gonna break my heart, aren’t you?_  
He nodded looking at his feet. _He nodded._ And once again her heart dropped and melted on the floor. This time she didn’t picked it up. -He did what?! - Mary-Beth looked like she nearly lost it. 

\- He said he wants to wait because he thinks his words didn’t _sink in_. That I am blindfolded and that I’m gonna grow out of it. 

\- No way he used this one. No. _No_. 

\- Wow, I have never saw you in this state before. Ya sure it was me that he broke up with?

\- How could you tell something like that anyway? How could you propose this? You are worth much more than this and we were talking about it.

\- _Jesus._ I guess I’m sorry, mother? 

\- You are not gonna wait for shit is what I’m telling you. Screw it! Screw good uncle Arthur, you are I are women and if he’s like that he will taste my anger. 

\- I think you got carried away, Mary-Beth. It’s not that bad, really. He just gave me little hopes at first and now I don’t have any, you don’t have to worry. 

\- I will be loyal to you, my new sister. I can’t believe how dirty he did you! You know what? Let me rearrange there and you will be living with us since now. 

\- Gee, I really don’t know what to say - she blushed - You are really great, I thought I was gonna sleep today under the trees. He snores like a pig - she said with sweet but ugly smile. 

-Come on, Mrs Grimshaw will understand why we stopped working. Let’s gonna move you here! - she sang it like it was an opera song.   
She hadn’t had that much stuff, just few books and clothes so moving her wasn’t difficult. Arthur was in town now so Iris hoped she won’t meet him. And she didn’t.   
Evening came and Arthur still wasn’t there. What else wasn’t there war journal. She started having this small habit since she noticed Arthur doing that.

\- I think I left it upstairs. I’m gonna search for it and I’m gonna be back soon with you, my new roommate! Iris walked up the stairs and there it was. She left it under her bed. Slender fingers caressed journal’s cover and she smiled a bit. Then she turned around and saw Arthur, standing in room entrace. 

\- Ya leaving me? - he asked with pure sadness in eyes. 

\- Just moving to girls tent. Nothing big, Mr Morgan.

\- Don’t call me like that, I ain’t liking it. Use my name, you was using it already - he looked at her like she was something slipping from his hands. 

\- But this is who you are now, just Mr Morgan - she smiled brightly at him and it was the saddest smile he saw - Goodnight - Iris whispered and climbed to her toes as she pecked little kiss on his cheek. She disappeared in darkness walking thru the corridor and he looked after her hoping it was just a joke. 


	7. Chapter 7

At first he thought Iris is really gonna wait for him. He was telling himself that she just wanted some space and she moved to let himself think. But then, once, when he was lying in his bed it hit him. _She told you that just to make it dumping her easier for you, you old fool. She won’t wait for you and you let her go._   
And this realisation made him cry for brief moment. He just hurt another woman in his life.   
_You stole her first kiss, Arthur Morgan._  
No, he couldn’t sleep now. He was the worst.  
He walked down the stairs and went to the garden to smoke a cigarette and clean his head. And then he noticed that under his favourite tree Iris is drawing something in her journal. She was singing too, something that sounded like a lullaby. He decided to listen to her before walking at her like that. _  
_

_Wolves asleep amidst the trees_   
_Bats all a swaying in the breeze_   
_But one soul lies anxious wide awake_   
_Fearing no manner of ghouls, hags and wraiths_   
_For your dolly Polly sleep has flown_   
_Don’t dare let her tremble alone_   
_For the witcher, heartless, cold_   
_Paid in coin of gold_   
_He comes he’ll go leave naught behind_   
_But heartache and woe_   
_Deep, deep woe_

\- Nice song - he cleared his throat - but who is a witcher?  
Iris’s heart jumped right to her throat and so did her arms. She looked at him with the coldest manner she had.

\- It’s a bad guy from a tale about himself. He lives in kings and queens times and he slaughters monsters, like…Ghosts and things like that. No one likes witcher’s though. They are scary.

\- Never heard of it. Sounds interesting. 

\- I can borrow you a book. He’s in love with a witch with violet eyes and black hair. Really pretty one.

\- I am not much of a person who likes books - he laughed and then dragged from cigarette - too stupid for that.

\- If you say so, Mr Morgan - she closed her journal and got up, cleaning her dress from any grass and sand - Anyway, it’s you seat. Sorry for taking it, it’s free now.

\- Wait - he grabbed her wrist. He just didn’t know what to do next - you have something in your hair - was all he said, using the most awkward manner to pick “something” from her hair and throw it away. 

\- Thank you? - she looked at him rather startled. 

\- I-I actually wanted to talk to you? If you have time.

\- There isn’t much to talk about these days. Only Dutch has a lot to say to me, he keeps talking about Tahiti and mangoes. He’s crazy, he doesn’t even know where freakin’ Tahiti is. 

\- Neither do I, sweetheart.

\- You don’t wanna go there without even bare skills of finding it on world’s map, Mr Morgan. 

\- I feel like you change the subject and I really need to talk to you, Iris.   
She sighed and nodded her head. It was just normal courtesy but he couldn’t read thru it and started talking.

\- I feel like you avoiding me. 

\- Really now? I’m sorry.

\- You said you are gonna wait to let me think but then ya don’t talk much to me. It’s not like I am thinking about it constantly and I’m gonna overheat talking to you at the same time - he rambled.  
 _That was bad choice of words._

\- I am not thinking about you, I-I mean I think about you a lot, b-but not this way…- was all he babbled.  
 _It was even worse!_

\- I see you could use some sleep, Mr Morgan. You don’t make much sense - Iris patted his arm with the friendlier manner she could force herself to and she left Arthur faster than the light.  
 _He was a fool meant to die alone._  
Arthur started to write a lot in his journal. Whole pages were covered with words. If he could only speak so swiftly he would win Iris back already but all he could do was watching her from afar. She stopped taking any jobs that meant being with him, she hunted alone and when she needed help with anything she was asking Dutch straight away, even when Arthur was next to her and Dutch sat in his tent. Iris and Arthur were good friends but now they wasn’t even strangers. She actually talked more to Micah than to him.   
And it hurt but he didn’t know what to do when he could speak with Iris. It was his lack of communication.   
All he could think about was Iris’s birthday happening today and he decided to go to the city to buy her a gift. But what would she liked? He had actually this much money that if she liked a boat, he could buy one. But boat didn’t seem right. She was strong, yet femine. And smart, she knew a lot. Maybe perfumes? Nah, she smelled good enough for him. Then maybe a book? Arthur gulped while thinking how hard it’s gonna be to buy a book for Iris. - Good morning, my birthday girl! - Mary- Beth chirped, trying to wake Iris up - I have something what you gonna like!

\- More hours of sleep and something to eat? 

\- Yes! Kind of. I bought you cookies. But it’s not what I really have.  
She handed Iris small tissue and girl unfolded it. There was silver pendant inside, with small emerald blinking in sunlight.

\- It’s beautiful! You totally stole it, Mary - Beth!

\- I totally diid - she sang and cuddled her friend - Isn’t that romantic? I steal for you, I mend your heart, soon and we gonna be married. 

\- It actually is quite romantic. And to be honest we are free people. I would marry you. 

\- I know you would, I am sweetest one. Ain’t I? Tell me I am!

\- You are dearest to me, Mary-Beth. And this is absolutely the greatest thing I ever got for birthday. 

\- It matches your eyes~!Arthur was gone for the whole day. He was running from shop to shop. After few hours he choosed one dress, but he also saw a beautiful haircomb, with carved elements and subtle. He wasn’t sure for what he should settle and decided it’s not gonna be a dress when lady in shop looked at him weirdly because when she asked

Arthur for size, he told that he could embrace Iris’s waist with his arm. He decided to be braver than usually and decided to enter book shop.

\- Er, g'day sir -Arthur scratched his chin - Do you have some books for person who likes to study…biology?

\- Biology, sir?

\- Well, my wife - he quickly noticed how sweet if would sound if was reall - she enrolled to university and she’s gonna be a doctor, she’s really smart you know and I wanted buy something…proper.

\- I think I have something just right for you, sir.  
It was indeed right.-Mary-Beth! - Iris jumped quickly in her direction and dragged her to nearest bush she saw. Her breath was heavy.

\- What, what? 

\- Look what I had found - she spoken in with deadly serious manner. And the case was serious. She just noticed Arthur’s journal left in his room. 

\- Is it…?

\- Yes and I know we shouldn’t but I don’t have any decency - she straightened up proudly - so we gonna read it.   
And so they opened journal and was searching thru it for any appearance of Iri’s name. At first it wasn’t anything harmful and Arthur wrote about her as “kid” or “new kid” but right after what happened between them few days ago they could read something very disturbing.  
It was almost the worst Iris could imagine. In this note Arthur more or less compared her to Eliza and Marry. 

\- “She seems so similar to Eliza. She is just more nervous and frivolous. I think that maybe there isn’t any more woman with Eliza’s calm temper. I keep telling myself it’s Eliza’s ghost” - quoted Iris and Mary-Beth squeaked with shock. 

\- Look there “I kissed her today and it was weird feeling. She doesn’t seem to know what to do and with Mary it was easier” son of a bitch, that’s harsh. 

\- He’s right, you know. I can’t kiss. I’ve got another one - Iris seemed not to be bothered. Yet. She just was in this adrenaline rush that made her laugh at it - “She moved away from our room. I thought about it a lot, she’s just a liar and she won’t be back”.

\- Aren’t you sad, Iris? - Mary-Beth looked at her with worry. She didn’t know what she would do if she would read her lovers journal and found things like that. 

-Sad? Never. I expected him to say things like that. More mad…I feel used.

_Kind of like he tried me but didn’t likt the taste after all._

In early evening Arthur got back to camp with a gift covered in some fancy paper and heavy heart pounding in chest like bird in cage. He noticed that everyone is gathered.

\- Ladies and gentelman - Mary-Beth was standing on the log like she was giving a speech, with beer in her hand and Iris under her arm - Can I talk to all of you for a minute?

\- I guess you can - Micah said grumpily. 

\- Thank you. As you all probably know it’s my girlfriend’s birtday today - she cuddled Iris to herself. Girl had big flower crown on her head. It was another gift to cheer her up after what they discovered and Arthur had to say he looked like a pixie or like elve from fairy tale - and thank’s to Dutch we have a lot of beer…

\- Thanks, Dutch - Iris chimed in and sent man a kiss.

-…and Mr Pearson cooked today something that doesn’t taste awful, I think it was a gift for our birthday girl…

Everyone bursted into laugh. Except Pearson.

\- Ya will starve, missy - he snarled.

\- …and I totally stole this necklace for her and don’t you think it’s romantic?   
Laughs again.

\- …and since I think he can, Dutch will gave us marriage today and we gonna be first married couple here…

\- I don’t think I can - Dutch said humorously and dragged from his cigarette.

\- I think you will have to, she really wants that - Iris said pretending she’s whispering. Mary-Beth cuddled her closer. 

\- And I hope everyone is gonna have fun, thank you very much, woohoo! - She said as she kissed Iris in front of everybody, then their bottles clicked and the fun begin.  
At first it was mainly girls but later almost everyone joined the party. Beer was cold, night was warm and Iris danced a lot, around the campfire, making pirouettes and laughing sweetely. Beer and fun made her forget. And she couldn’t care less.But after few hours man ‘round there were too drunk, their hands becoming jazzy and she dissapeared under her favourite tree with journal and pencil. 

\- I was thinking you gonna be there - Arthur appeared from god knows where. He seemed in weirdly good mood and she was drunk enough to handle this conversation with class.

\- And I am. Not many people are loosers enough to sit and watch how other people party. What’s wrong? 

\- I-I have something for you. Really broke my back to find something good enough for you. Happy birthday - he said.  
She unpacked this heavy something from the paper and she was speechless. It was a botanic atlas with drawings drawed by hand. It was mainly about herbs and how to heal with them. It was piece of art to her. But she had her pride.

\- Thank you, Mr Morgan - she said and he smiled. But only for a second.

\- I can’t accept this gift - she said briefly, placing the book back in Arthur’s hands. 

\- Jesus, what? What is that about? I bought if for you to have it. 

-It’s nothing, really. I just…can’t have it. Lost interests in all that - she lied quickly.

\- You lie - it was first time he actually saw thru her fasade - You love things like that, I heard you speaking to Mary-Beth about it few days ago - his voice was harsh.

\- I am big fat liar, Mr Morgan and you are more than right! 

\- Why you lie to me, then? You were telling all those things but now I think you didn’t mean them-

\- Oh, did you? I know you didn’t either. 

\- Y-ya kidding me, kid? There is no day without me thinking about you. 

\- I don’t want you to think about me! Know what you really think about me and I am surprised with myself I was stupid enough to think you are normal. You are a weirdo who baths with dogs 'cause they are the only creatures that want to be around you! 

It was the worst anybody said to him. Probably because no one was closer to him than her so far, but he didn’t saw it that way. He couldn’t think straight now, normally he was cold-headed and he would tell himself it’s just anger talking through her. But now he decided to believe she hated him. He was glad that at least Iris took a book. **  
**


	8. Chapter 8

They seemed to drift apart. Arthur was afraid of hurting Iris even more and she was afraid of him talking to her. She just knew she’s gonna hear things she didn’t wanna hear from him. It just wasn’t the best theese day.  
Things became even worse when Arthur wasn’t back after one of gang’s jump. From what Iris understand, O'Driscolls had to do something with it again. But it wasn’t the problem since everyone claimed Arthur was with them back then. She was beating herself for not going with them to keep everyone, specifically one special one, safe.

\- He’s missing, Dutch, how could you lose a human being?! He’s not a pair of keys? - Iris was impatient with man. Despite all bad that happened between Arthur and her, she was worried. It wasn’t about her pride anymore, man was missing from her and everyone else’s life.

\- It wasn’t my intention, we had a plan-

\- Dutch - she cut in with voice colder than snow lying in mountains - I respect you, a lot but - she took sharp breath - your plans are shit and since we’ve met each other everyone around thinks you are crrrazy~! They said you lost in in Blackwater and I have every right to believe it.

\- Why? - he asked briefly, smoking a ciggar.

\- Friendly reminder, you lost a man! Are you even listening to me?

\- It’s hard not to, woman.

\- Dutch van der Linde, you won’t disrespect me this way. It’s not even fact you lost a man in action like he was a pair of gloves, he’s the best you have. No one shots like him, no one hunts like him and no one is loyal to you like him!

\- You do and you do and you probably aren’t, that’s true.

\- It sounds like you are exchanging man who’s considered your son for some random lass, and that’s me.

-I just try to be reasonable - he dragged from cigarette again - What I am supposed to do, fight Colm O'Driscoll with his whole gang and search for him?

\- I would! I just can’t fight properly - she groaned, falling on a trunk in Dutch’s tent. Without asking Iris grabbed pack of cigarettes and light one of them up. Dutch raised his brows.

\- Since when you are a smoker?

\- Since I’m pissed off, sitting there, useless just like Uncle.  
He couldn’t help but chuckle.

\- Lumbago, my ass - she said - when I sit on my own and read everyone loses their shit. “Do this, do that, you and Arthur can do anything”.

\- Feeling a little bit like you need to talk to someone and it happened to be me.

\- Feeling like you gonna piss me off, even more, Dutch - she put strong accent on his name.

\- That’s Arthur’s job now I suppose.

\- And what was that supposed to mean? - her face showed signs of being offended, deep line between her brows.

\- I just thought I showed you clearly my interest in you. And then you disappeared and got back again with him and he’s looking at you funny since then.

\- Interest in me? Dutch, didn’t you mistake me for some other girl? And where’s Molly anyway? - her finger poked his chest.

\- I don’t know and I don’t feel like I should.

\- Ouchie. Wonder when I would be in her place.

\- Huh?

\- Just saying you don’t do the best advertisement for yourself. And by the way, I know nothing about you being interested in me. 

\- Oh, but I am and I would be still if you would consider it…- his eyes lingered a little bit too long on Iris’s lips.

\- Ew! Arthur’s missing and I’m not gonna have any funny business with you, because we need to search for him!  
That’s when she heard gasp of Mrs Grimshaw coming from back of the camp. She wasn’t careless, she grabbed a gun and left the tent looking around quickly. Dutch followed her.  
On the ground, covered in mud, dust and sunburns lied Arthur and he’s horse was nibbling on his hair.

\- Oh my fuckin’ God - she whispered away looking down on man. Dutch whisteled. She punched him in the stomach right away.  
Then Arthur, barely alive looked up to them and passed out.

It wasn’t like she didn’t hold the grudge against Arthur Morgan, thinking over and over about his journal, his words and actions. Iris felt guilty for one another reason. She bashed herself for not being straight forward right away with Arthur. Now it seemed reasonable since she knew his reaction. It was harsh, right, but not the way it could be. She would been turned down but maybe it would let two of them get along better? Anything would be better than this mess now.  
Arthur was in bad condition. His skin was sunburned, especially on his face, he looked like he hasn’t been shaving in his lifetime and he was so weak, he wasn’t leaving the bed. He was unconscious and that meant he couldn’t drink or eat. Iris’s worries grew bigger every day and she was the one to look after him. All he was doing was sleeping and wheezing. His lungs sounded terrible and he was coughing a lot. At first girl was sure it’s just because he snores and can’t drink properly but one time he coughed out blood. It was dripping down his chin as she froze in terror. She knew what it was. Tuberculosis. When Iris was small, mother looked after her and father was the one she respected and feared. Them two barely talked and Iris was always hiding behind mother’s skirt. But her pop liked to drink and one evening he drank too much, he and mom had big fight and he choked her do death because of some random inconvenience. Iris saw it but she was too you and too scared to say anything. Yeah, her daddy liked his whiskey. It wasn’t only that he was drinking at home and now he was focused on torturing his son. He sometimes traveled to nearest saloon and had nasty fights with everyone around. It got so bad, at point, that anywhere around when someone asked about him people knew him and bad reputation made it hard to find any job. He worked only to drink more but sometimes he had good days and have his kids something to eat.  
She knew Arthur had tuberculosis because her daddy catched it too, beating some other guy up one night. It was terrible, especially because he wasn’t on any treatment. At some point when he breathed he sounded like a train. And then he died. Iris was looking at him with terror and sadness and anger and every bad emotion she could feel was there, with her, sticking to her head like mud.  
She wondered how bad it was with Arthur.  
The book he gave her that night told her things that lifted up her mood a little. She needed to search for herbs, buy them and pray that it wasn’t too late for him. But she was stressed, she knew that this jump with gang, being a hostage, almost dying and being sunburned wasn’t exactly perfect when one had TB.  
Arthur wasn’t eating yet but she had a plan. With medical herbs she made paste, then spoon of it was landing under his tongue and she was waiting for it to melt away.  
Every evening she was reading this big book with help of faint light that oil lamp was giving and she was coming across numerous ideas she could try out on Arthur to make him healthy man. She decided that if there is any way she could help was buying all the stuff at town he would need to recover. She even bought himself tea which was extremely expensive for some reason but after making herself cup of it and adding honey to that Iris knew how good that idea was, as honey soothed her throat. Perfect, she’s sure he’ll love it once he will be better enough to drink. Her head tilted slightly to the side as she’s fallen asleep on chair next to Arthur’s bed. Warm but weak light was supposed to keep her awake but it wasn’t possible. Lately she tried not to sleep at all just to watch him sleep. He was wheezing less already but looking at his throat Iris knew the road is gonna be long and bumpy. It made her feel better when she finally could do something for him for saving her that one, feral night. She was dreaming about him and corners of her lips were twitching as she tried to smile.  
Arthur woke up and grunted. Pain in his head was unbearable and he felt like he was starving. In addition, skin on his face felt like it was on fire and every part of his body cried out in pain as he tried to got up.  
He noticed her after a moment, sitting on a chair burried deeply in her sleep. He blinked few times. All he could remember was dying so he had to die. There’s no other way she would be there, looking after him after all what happened and that she would resign of comfortable bed to sleep right next to him. It was heaven and this angel with golden halo was guarding him.  
He coughed and it was weird feeling. He was diagnosed with TB but was brushing it off for some time. When he was drowning after his ship sank, Arthur understood how deeply fucked up he was. But his chest felt different now and he wasn’t seeing blood on his lips or hands.  
He had to die, there is no other way to get better for him.  
Iris wriggled in her chair, waking up and touching her neck with visible pain and Arthur was sure he heard bones cracking as she straighten up. He couldn’t help but look at her, as her sleepy eyes were glimmering and she rose them to meet with his pupils.

\- You woke up! - she got up immediately, visible startled. She blushed and didn’t know why. Seeing him being better was just so nice and this sudden feeling flooded her stomach with warmth.

\- Woke up? I can assume that I am dead, no way I would live through all of shit what happened and wake up feeling better. But I can see you there and I’m not sure now, I don’t remember angels being in hell.  
She jumped towards him and hugged man tightly, rubbing her cheek against his honeyblond hair. He woke up.

\- It was days, I swear. I was already thinking how to feed you if you won’t wake up for any much longer. Never do that again, Arthur Morgan.  
Arthur was surprised. She welcomed himself so nicely, with all the warmth, and now her slender frame tried to cover him. Iris’s black hair was tickling his face and she smelled nice, oh so nice, like honey and lilacs.

\- Is it real? - was all he asked.  
Iris laughed at it was laugh full of relief and happiness, Arthur would consider it as his favourite sound since now.

\- Maybe you get more stupid every time something hits you on the head. But that’s nothing. Good you are alive - she peppered his cheeks with little kisses and she blushed strongly.

\- What is all that for? I didn’t remember being so cherished last time we saw each other. I just can’t believe it, kid.  
It was true. Iris backed off a little bit but it was only because of embarrassment eating her alive. She was too proud and he was too patient with her.

\- I’m sorry for all of that… I feel like it doesn’t matter anymore. Just because all those crazy things that happened I understand how much I cherish you. Even if you want be friends and only friends.  
He scratched back of his head. Arthur wouldn’t be just friends but he didn’t know how to put it in words. She was so young and innocent, looking like porcelain doll and walking into his life like a snowstorm he found her in. At first he felt attacked and put into the corner like wild animal, even though she only confessed to him. After all those years, losing Eliza and then being left by Mary he was afraid to re-learn all those feelings coming with love. For much more than five years he was sharing bed with no one. And when he did it was just some working girl, not a babydoll like her. He felt like a fool when his heart was fluttering in his chest like bird asking to be free when he saw her. With Eliza it was just an accident and he got used to her, wanting to be a decent man. Mary on the other hand didn’t know what she wanted. She seemed to come to him only when she really needed and it was more one sided romance that made Arthur believe he doesn’t want any of that anymore. And that he didn’t deserve love anyway.  
Iris was waiting for him to respond as she was chewing her lips. Being turned down again wouldn’t even hurt now. She was sure she developed mature feelings toward him and she’s gonna love him even if she will be his friend considered younger sister. She wanted to tell that doesn’t matter anyway and that they can simply talk when he reached his hand to her face and caressed her cheek, rubbing small circles with his calloused thumb.  
Arthur looked at her like she was Goddes he wanted to praise now. His hands were rough but knot in her stomach tying up right know told her she wouldn’t mind them anywhere. She leaned in a little bit, making distance between their faces shorter as she spoke.

\- I love you - it sounded so calm and good Arthur was sure he could melt away, right here and right now. He was looking at her lips and she bit the lower one, chewing on it. He put a hair strand behind her ear.  
Should he kiss her? After he stole her first kisses it felt almost like a crime. But he really wanted to do it properly. So he did and as they lips touched Arthur already knew how starved he was. He grabbed her without any thinking, forgetting about any pain and put her on his lap, making her gasp into his parted lips. Iris’s didn’t mind his smell, or beard scratching her face or that he tasted like blood. It was finally the kiss she wanted to have with him.  
It was getting rather hot between them. As he was pressing her to his body, Arthur did everything to make sure he touched all of her. She was sitting on him, his hips between her tights and he couldn’t stop. First it was just touching all around but places he was interested in. But when two warm and round objects pressed against his naked chest through thin fabric of her blouse he lost it. Arthur made the kiss even more deep and her tongue invited him in. She tasted like honey, too. His thoughts become fuzzy enough to think he would check if her pussy wasn’t made of honey when threw her on the bed and climbed on top of her.

\- W-wait - she gasped, catching air as her round breats were going up and down. Up and down. It was all he could think about it now - I-I have never done that before.  
Realisation came to him like water from ice-cold bucket. He just tried to mingle with a virgin to fuck her, when he not only looked like shit but smelled similar too. What kind of light he was putting himself into? Arthur panicked suddenly and backed off. He still couldn’t help but look at her nipples, piercing thru the blouse.

\- Y-you are right, I should at least take a bath instead of doing all of that with you now.

\- All of that? - she asked curiously. She knew how sex worked but she couldn’t imagine it. For some reason it made her squeeze her tights together but also caused fear.

\- Um, you know. Have sex? - he scratched his chin, not knowing where to look.

\- I don’t know how it works. You know I can’t even kiss properly - she started playing with her fingers, when wild blush on her cheeks became few shades darker.  
He wanted to say something but just stuttered. To think about it he couldn’t describe things he would do to her even though he exactly knew. He wanted to touch her breasts and feel her skin, to bite her neck, to dive between her tights and watch her moan.

\- W-will you show me, Arthur? Maybe tomorrow…  
He gulped. Now perspective of sun coming up and getting a bath was exciting like never before.

\- Oh I can show you anything you want, sweetheart - he replied in low, husky voice.  
Arthur felt like an old, ugly fool when he realised how much he needed that. It was enough to make him happy and aroused when it came to her, she was just pecking his cheek and he already was thinking how it would be to see her in his bed. He was starved of love and warmth of woman’s body. Then dirty thought came to his mind.

\- I could show you small bit of it now, if you want. In a way. You don’t have to be afraid, it’s not what you thinking.

\- And what exactly it is then? - she stirred in her place. Oh God, he realised, she’s horny.

\- You gonna like it - he whispered into her mouth as he kissed her deeply and slowly. She was shaking beneath him as he slowly peppered her neck with kisses. He stopped when line of blouse told him to. He didn’t know what to say next. “I’m gonna pick your skirt up?”. Iris made it easier.

\- S-should I undress? Do you want to see m-my…you know…  
He couldn’t help but nod and gulped.  
It was some kind of a dream. She got up and undressed, her small arms covering her breasts as she turned around to face him, her cheeks flushed with red.  
Oh. My. God.  
It wasn’t only she was pretty, it was he never had a girl like it before realising it’s something brand new when woman is so pale, delicate and she trembles for him. With surprised he noticed that she’s shaved down there.

\- I know I look w-weird. I’m sorry - she whispered.  
He cleared his throat getting out of trance.

\- I can assure you it’s not even close to weird - he licked his lips.  
Before she could say anything more he pushed her on the bed again, getting back to business. He finally could suck on her nipples and feel how skin between her tights felt. And it all was making him feverish.  
His lips traveled down her stomach and she gasped.

\- W-what you gonna do, Arthur? - she looked at him, her eyes hazy. Oh he wanted to have her, right now.

\- You gonna like it, babygirl - he whispered to her ear. It was dirty and hot feeling at the same time.

And, God, she liked it a lot.


	9. Chapter 9

Arthur woke up and he wasn’t ready to open his eyes. Discovering it was all a dream was more than possible and he still wanted to linger on sweet, sweet fantasy.  
Iris stirred right next to him and he opened her eyes. He was her big spoon as she was sleeping in his arms. Now he reminded himself.  
He had her not only once but few times since she discovered it’s fun. She was hot for him all night and he needed to be proud of himself. He was a real gentelman down here but he couldn’t say that eating her out wasn’t something amazing. He had never done that before, just knew it’s really nice and he almost forgot about it, because Mary was too nice and well-raised to do such things. They usually had sex without any light too.  
Thinking about all of it made Arthur realise that for the first time in many years he woke up with morning wood. His eyes almost got back to his skull when she stirred again, rubbing her ass against it.  
He needed to go away. Do something proper. So Arthur decided to have a bath and shave his face while she still slept. He didn’t know he wanted to face anyone from camp, but her and for one second he was thinking of running away from here to be alone with Iris. - You ugly bastard - he muttered to himself in the mirror, shaving right after he scrubbed his body making sure he’s clean and fresh for what was coming this night. It was before midday and he was already thinking in what position they gonna do it first. He decided he gonna let her choose.

\- Morning - he heard voice behind his back and small hand caressing his bicep.

\- Ain’t you the sweetest morning girl - he murmured and caressed her arm back.

\- I’ve got something for you - she smiled at him shyly - you need to swallow it without any questions - she said as she showed him spoon of something that was green and had strong herbal smell.

\- What’s that? - Arthur asked, his brows rasing.

\- A medicine - she replied mysteriously - I said you can’t ask, cowboy. You still should rest in your bed after what happened to you.

\- Told him the same as soon as I saw him - said Dutch, sitting near them and lighting up a cigarette.

\- Are you gonna in bed with me? - Arthur joked which made her blush.

\- Mr Morgan! - she scolded - just eat it. And drink this! - Iris handed him a cup of gold tea with honey.

\- And what’s that? - he said, his face twisting in disgust when he tasted herbal paste on his tongue - is it also disgusting?

\- Oh, I can have it if you don’t want it, Arthur - Dutch chimed in, knowing what a treat Iris has.

\- He’s gonna drink this down despite the fact liking it, Dutch. It’s for his health.  
Arthur didn’t wanna argue about it and he started to drink. It was surprisingly good.

\- It’s tea?

\- Yes, with honey. Is it good?

\- It’s actually amazing. Never had that before.

\- Now you gonna have it quite often - Iris patted his head. She still didn’t tell him she knew his sick. She decided to surprise him with results rather than promises.

\- No idea what I did to deserve that but thank you - Arthur smiled at Iris with small sparks in his eyes.  
Arthur Morgan would never admit he liked when she cared for him, even at the start of their relationship. At first she just shared food with him if she had anything extra and she asked him if he slept good. Now will at that extra care that he gained he felt amazing. He was starving for affection. With that thought he also started smoking a cigarette.

\- No way, Mister - she said and took it away, putting it out with her shoe. She also grabbed pack from Arthur’s hand and quickly hid it behind her back.

\- Huh?

\- If I’m gonna see you smoking a cigarette even once again, we gonna have war and I promise that.

\- Ah, those women, ain’t I right, son? One night of sharing bed and they think they own us - Dutch chimmed in with mockery in his voice.

\- Fuck you, Dutch - she said without any hesitation, causing Arthur to cough. They all knew he did it to cover ugly laughing - you not gonna give him any of those either - Iris’s lips became thin, white line immediately.

\- What is it all about, huh? - Arthur tried to catch up - I feel like I missed something?

\- Just…just do what I ask you, and Arthur? I just want you stop smoking, drink that and have your medicine everyday. It’s not bad thing to ask for after all what happened?  
Arthur was surprised. He was smoking since he was young, around 20 years now. He thought that it’s gonna be difficult to quit, but seeing Iris’s face made him to want at least to try. He was sure he haven’t tell anyone but Dutch and Hosea about his condition, not even calling it by names but using metaphors and context, so her harsh reactions on him having a cigarette was weird. But she couldn’t know.  
He nodded slowly and seeing sign of relief on her face was a gift. They first sex this night was something else. It wasn’t only something new to experience, at least for Iris, but it showed how badly Arthur Morgan fell for her. He realised he wanted to do nothing but that, now, tomorrow and in ten years. Even if it made pervert out of him.  
First steps were stressful but as soon as Iris got relaxed she showed Arthur her true side.  
Which was being young, horny woman.  
Arthur almost doubted he’s gonna be enough for her, with his extremely low stamina but at the same time he was oh so happy. It turned him on to know she was getting wet every time he touched her while they were naked. He was nibbling on her neck, on her breasts and on her nipples.  
It was third time they changed position this night. They started missionary but as soon he found out she’s even more frivolous than he could expect, he decided he’s gonna give her the most naughty sex he could think of.  
Iris was riding Arthur’s dick, with her eyes shut and mouth open. Her breasts was bouncing, up and down and it was almost hipnotising to him, all he was thinking about now was her fast paces. He couldn’t hold himself back and as soon as she started moaning and trembling, having an orgasm he pulled out and wanked himself at her breasts.

\- Oh God - she moaned.

\- Jesus- he groaned.  
Iris fell at his side, landing on her back. It was probably the nicest feeling she didn’t know she could feel.

\- How was I? - she asked, looking at Arthur, as he tried to ease his breathing.

\- Look at me, darlin’ and you gonna know - he leaned on his elbow to look at her.  
Iris didn’t respond, just blushed and covered herself with blanket.

\- Aren’t you a naughty girl, eh? - he whispered in low voice to her ear, causing shivers running down her spine.

And from this night it was like this everyday, as soon as they got to bed Arthur did everything to make love to her the best way he could. To devour her. But it wasn’t only in bed, he did everything to catch her off guard anytime he could. At some point he was sure there wasn’t place they didn’t fuck at. His tent, her tent, leaning against the tree or doggy style, bending Iris against rock or a log while they were away from camp to hunt.  
He was horny as hell and it was new to him to desire someone’s body this much. He loved to talk dirty to her ear and calling her hot names muttered under his breath. Iris was caring about him every day, feeding him with herbs, tea with honey and her love. Where he was there was her, to hold on his arm, or caress his cheek. They were finally happy, together and at peace.  
But life was life, not a fairytale and it all started to fade. As soon as she discovered Arthur’s lungs are better now and he doesn’t need to be looked after this much it has loosen their ties. Iris also discovered that loving him is hard thing somehow, Arthur didn’t like doing nothing much more than sex, he wasn’t talking much. Everytime there was a question he wouldn’t answer they ended up fucking. At first they were glued to each other and it lasted weeks but soon Arthur started disappearing, not saying about him getting back to bed at night. She reminded herself as he once told her, that life normal person who sleeps everyday in the same place wasn’t for him. Iris tied to be considerate. She was aware that this hot romance will become more balanced with time. But then, she remembered about person who tried to make Arthur regular, obedient man.  
Mary.

Something hit her out of the blue to search for clues as she was sitting in Arthur’s tent while he was away again. At first it felt really bad to lurk through his belonging and she was looking around if no one will discover it. They wouldn’t mind since everyone knew already that Iris Rhiannon and Arthur Morgan were a thing. But it felt bad to do so anyway and being caught red handed.  
In a wooden frame hidden under his bed was photo of Mary, her portrait. It looked like Arthur had it for a long time but he wasn’t keeping it under the bed all the time, it wasn’t dusted. It meant he was probably looking at this photograph before his sleep every day and it hurt her a bit.  
She could understand that although it was hard to understand. But she tried to stay cool and be true to her words which was promise of loving him even if she and Arthur are gonna be only friends.  
She put the photograph away but then she felt something under her fingertips. A piece of paper?  
She looked under the bed again and in the darkest corner he discovered an envelope. But not one, it was almost a hundred of them. Letters from Mary to Arthur Morgan.  
But they could write all of them in the past, right? Deep breath. Arthur probably keeps them to remember his past and that’s okay, you not gonna read it, Iris. Another deep breath.  
Checking one wouldn’t hurt anyone, right?  
Iris picked the one that look the most recent to her, looking at the ink and paper condition.  
Her heart dropped low and loud as she saw all the words in front of her.  
He was seeing her. All the time. Arthur even was with Mary right now.  
But it wouldn’t be that bad if he only helped her with few things, however it appeared like he still was her obedient dog.  
And there was only thing Iris didn’t know if she gonna ever forgive. Him lying to her instead of facing consequences as break-up.

Anger? No. Fury? Maybe. She couldn’t tell. High pitched sound was getting louder and louder, ringing in her ear. Her pupils became bigger, pumped with adrenaline as she threw letters back under his bed.  
Without any thinking she just grabbed a horse and got away, galloping through the night.

Mrs Grimshaw was right telling girls not to wander alone, she was telling it over and over. Gunshot rang in Iris’s ears as she looked at her stomach as it become red, flushing down with blood. Someone shot her.

Doctor’s office smelled like alcohol and formaline. Iris’s didn’t mind though. It was one of those weird but pleasant smells. Just like smoke or freshly cut grass.

\- What a time we have to shot and rob a lady, eh?

\- Person who did that was surely disappointed, doc. They did it for one dollar and fifty cents. But you are right, it’s a wild world.  
Doctor gave her a gaze with a faint smile.

\- Am I gonna live? I’ve been shot before but I don’t like that look of yours.

\- You gonna, miss. You had great luck to survive shot considered lethal.

\- But?

\- Excuse me?

-There is always a but, especially when it comes to human health. So what is mine?

\- I menaged to make you safe and sound and it gonna heal properly…- man suddenly grabbed her hand - but because of how much blood you lost you couldn’t keep the baby. I don’t think you could have any more of them thanks to person who did that to you. A…baby? It felt like doctor was talking to a stranger, not her. You can’t have any more of them.  
It wasn’t only the fact she just lost her baby not knowing about being pregnant in first place. She lost ability every woman around her had. Iris was to you to think about children, she never did. But now…It was Arthur’s baby and she didn’t know she would keep it or if she was able to take reponsibility for it. But it felt bad. Now she didn’t had any good reason for some man to love her in the future.  
Love…This word was weird. She used it not a long time ago to describe her feelings towards Arthur.  
Future? Why would anyone be with her in the future? She couldn’t imagine it anyway. Not after her first love disappearing just like that. When she was sitting in the camp it seemed like people were talking to her. But she couldn’t listen through that ringing in her ears. Her eyes were quite empty too.  
From that day it was just like that. Like a timelapse. She was sitting, not moving, not eating and life around were going on and on, people were walking around, trying to get to her. But they couldn’t. -Iris? Hey! - it was Dutch’s voice. It seemed to be far away though. But it wasn’t important now.

So I walked into the haze  
And a million dirty waves  
Now I see you lying there  
Like a lilo losing air, air  
Black rocks and the shoreline surf  
Still dead summer I cannot bear  
And I wipe the sand from my eyes  
The Spanish Sahara, the place that you’d wanna  
Leave the horror here (…)I’m the fury in your head,  
I’m the fury in your bed,  
I’m the ghost in the back of your head


	10. Chapter 10

Fire was finding away and Iris looked at it passively. She just lost everything she thought she had and even more, counting in baby that no one knew about.  
It was somehow strange, like Iris was watching a movie with her and Arthur in starring roles. People wanted love made for movie screens or books, but… All she wanted was just someone’s warmth. Arthur seemed to have it but Iris had to face the fact that it wasn’t meant for her. He had Mary.  
Girl bit on her lip, thinking about the woman. She was gorgeous, she was grace and the way Arthur looked at her - Iris couldn’t help but to shrink.  
It was understandable he chosed a woman he knew instead of sticking to a girl who was all new to these things. What did she had to offer? She couldn’t even kiss properly or fight for him, her flirt reminded more awkward calling for help rather than something hot.

\- Ah, I can’t enjoy my evening seeing thing like you there - Micah sat down by the fire and spitted. Iris shivered with disgust.

\- I’m leaving, you are right. I know I look like shit.

\- What happened - he asked suddenly. Maybe it was the booze but he wasn’t feeling like fighting. He had soft spot for woman in need, surprisingly.

\- Nothing you would care about, I think. We’re not friends.

\- I am wasted so we can be, I’m gonna forget by the morning anyway so use it wisely, spill the beans.  
Iris wasn’t sure, she was afraid but she didn’t have someone at this moment. Mary-Beth was angry with her for chasing Arthur over and over and forgetting about her when it was good. And she had every right to be mad, Iris knew she’s terrible friend.

\- Let’s say…I have a lot on my plate, okay?

\- Go on, probably it’s nothing I haven’t heard about, dumbass.

\- I got shot and lost the baby.

\- Holy shit - he rised his head - Morgan would be a father?

\- Yes - Iris curled up, her knees under her chin. She was small but now one could tell she was suddenly shrinking - He won’t know anyway. He’s after Mary now.

\- Weren’t you stupid flattering yourself enough to believe he would look at you - Micah snorted and then came the rest of the sentence - he’s too old to stick to babygirl in attractive package, can’t blame him for that.

\- That’s what I was thinking. Maybe with a little bit of hope it’s my low self-esteem talking but there you are.

\- I ain’t friend of yours and that’s good. Won’t sugarcoat. Morgan is weird, as I noticed. He doesn’t seem to care for anything if it was love related beside that Mary girl, he was talking about her a lot and then stopped, leaving gooey self behind and turning into cold motherfucker again. But on the other hand - Micah took a sip from his bottle - Even you can do better, you are step ahead of him being younger and less sentimental.

\- I hoped…I thought he’s different at first. But I think you’re right, eh? At least I’m young, gotta recover quicker - she shook her head - thanks for listening me anyway.

\- Wasn’t listening, as I said I’m gonna forget everything by tomorrow. Don’t flatter yerself, missy - he waved her off and looked away, his face empty and numb.

-Another letter from that Mary girl - Mrs Grimshaw handed Arthur piece of paper. Iris was sitting near enough to hear, sipping on a cup of coffee - Thought you over that, she’s funny business that woman.  
Arthur just quickly analysed the letter and put it inside his pocket. Iris was looking at him in descreet manner, concealing behind her hair. Man looked worried even though he just got letter from his lover. What is going on inside his head?

\- Mind if I join you? - Mary-Beth approached, half smiling. It’s been a long time since their last girl talk. Iris was almost sure Mary-Beth just ditched her forever. Who would’ve listen her whines.

\- No, of course I don’t mind - Iris immediately made space for her - What’s up?

\- No, I am here to ask you what’s up. Let’s forget that you ditched on me to mingle with Mr Morgan and now you are happy to see me when he left you. I wanna know what’s up despite that.

\- Listen, I can’t - she looked around. Arthur was listening and even peeking at her thinking she didn’t notice - Let’s find ourselves a place. Mind if I poured myself somethin’ stronger, eh?

-No - Mary-Beth said with deadpan voice, squeezing her glass so hard her knuckles went white - it’s simply not true, it can’t be.

\- Don’t pity me, please. I’m slowly adjusting myself to it.

\- How can you be like that when he simply left you for another with a child?

\- I was “another”, Mary-Beth, thinking I can compare. I’m nothing he would need in his life, I know he’s dreaming about children. He looks like the type of family man, especially when you notice how loyal he is towards everyone in the camp or how he’s taking care of Jack. And I’m just a kid who’s terrible in locating their feelings.

\- You can’t just let him go, not now?! You basically lost part of you in sake of this wild romance! Now there’s no turning back.

\- I gave up, Mary-Beth. We wouldn’t work out anyway. Let’s drink for me not falling like a fool again.

It was first time in a while when they took a task together. Iris dressed herself in manly clothes, with coat, hat hiding her hair and gunbelt around her waist. There was a bounty, easy one for girl searched by law for robbery. What a wild times it is, forcing woman to things like that or to find themselves a man just to mean something. Alone they were considered as useless.  
Arthur decided that it’s gonna be the best for them if he’s gonna be formal. Harsh maybe. Girl was clearly over him but now he wouldn’t wish to trigger any awkward situations. He was looking ahead, ignoring her presence.  
Iris grabbed her hip-flask from horse cargo. They were heading mountains and the cold was slowly getting to her. But there was remedy, whiskey. She gulped on golden liquid and blush caused by alcohol appeared almost straight away on her face. The closest to hug it could get for her. Whiskey was a good lover too, Iris discovered that it can lulle her to sleep just like lover would. Now she get why her daddy liked it alot.

\- Need ya sharp minded today, kid, so slow down a little - Arthur’s voice was harsh and cold. It was just like the day they met, Iris reminded herself. First time they were a team, searching for John Marston. Back then he also was looking ahead, with this ugly smirk on his face, visible scar on chin with beard trimmed harshly, probably by dull razor. He was tall and beefy, large and surely intimidating. Now, when it was over Iris could look at him as a stranger, again, with clear head. She wasn’t happy to discover he caused butterflies in her stomach, even bigger now, since she knew what was hiding under navy-blue coat. Iris looked away with shame.

\- Don’t worry, just warming myself up, I’m freezing - she put on leather gloves and fixed her hat, hoping it will hug her ears a little bit more, since tips of earlobes were going numb.  
Arthur ignored it, but only on the outside. Inside him there was a war. He just stepped away from girls life, numbed himself a little so he won’t notice her anymore. It wasn’t that Mary was better now, after years. It was just smart choice, him being an old outlaw, he would hurt Iris even more staying with her and making her life miserable with his presence. That’s why he tried not to give a shit, he was good at it. At the end of the day he was cold headed feller who would shot someone’s head of if it was needed.  
Iris jumped off her horse, grabbing her pump-action shot gun and loading it with amo. When she was younger she didn’t knew much about guns, but had to find out about them soon if she didn’t want to starve. Her aim was shitty thought. She got better with time, observing Arthur, just like almost with everything, from skinning an animals to being as much intimidating as him when needed. At least girl tried her luck with it whenever she could, ‘cause she was a woman, a girl after all. That’s why she was bounty hunting with Arthur Morgan, no one dared to treat her like child in his presence.

\- After you - he said, putting out a cigarette with a shoe, bad habit of his. Iris pretended she haven’t noticed, it wasn’t her place to make comments. Not anymore at least, but now when she was thinking about it, it never were. They just had sex few times, to have fun, right?  
Iris expected that the cabin, where thiefgirl were supposed to be hiding could be a bait. She could notice them too, first and preparing a trap now. So without hesitation she kicked the door in, holding her weapon tightly. Even if the opponent was also a girl she wouldn’t underestimate her. Iris remembered how Sadie was. But there was one one inside. She stepped forward and that was careless.  
Woman they were hunting jumped at her straight away, as she was hiding behind the door before they came. It was trap that even child would be aware off. But now Iris wouldn’t take shit from anyone. Few moves and opponent was under her, trying to escape. Girl catched a rope from Arthur’s hands and hogtied thief.

\- Get off me, bitch!

\- I ain’t likin’ the way you speak to me, babydoll - Iris growled and decided she doesn’t have to be nice today. She grabbed woman’s hair and knocked her out by smashing her face against he floor.  
Arthur whistled.

\- Where did ya learn to be cruel like this?

\- I have someone to learn from, ya know. Clean this up - she said, pointing at woman under her. Of course she was talking about him, he was the scariest man she knew when he wanted to be one.

Iris and Arthur took woman to closest sheriff’s office and collected their prize. It was nice amount of money. Iris started saving lately again. When she saw that being a couple with Arthur was just her wet, girlish dream she decided to save some money. Vision of moving away somewhere nice was really nice.

\- Thank ya, Mr Morgan. See ya around - she said and turned to walk away. Saloon was her new favourite direction, a glass of something stronger and all worries were easier to put aside.

\- I am heading the same direction, ya know. Don’t bother yourself anyway.

\- Sure - she shrugged and entered the saloon, taking place at the bar. Arthur’s taken sit right next to her and placed coins on bar surface.

\- Two rounds for me and the lady.  
Iris threw him suprised look.

\- You don’t have to, I have money. Have it back - she said and give him few coins as a recompensate. His brows furrowed and he took them.

\- I don’t get it, you always liked being treated - he said suddenly.

-…yes. I still like it when someone important in my life does that - she said without hesitation. That was harsh but Iris didn’t care. World is harsh too and so is Arthur Morgan’s love.  
She was sitting next to him as he was getting visibly drunk. Time was passing as he wasn’t looking like he’s leaving, but it was already dark outsite. If she knew he’s gonna pull that on her she would just go do another saloon in another town.

\- I’m getting back - she said, putting on her hat and gloves - Ya stayin or goin’ with me, Mr Morgan?

\- Don’t be silly, you drank nothin’. One more, on me.

\- Nope, I had enough and you had more than that. I am no one to scold you about it though, that’s why I asked simple question. Are you going, or nah?  
He frowned, his eyes hazy, lips forming in thin line.

\- Okay, in this case I’m coming with ya. You gonna wonder around and get yourself hurt without me.  
Iris wasn’t planning oto change Arthur’s mind, it was easier to lure him outside in this case. She knew him long enough to know he wanted be helpful and he wanted be needed.  
But that was the end of brilliant plan, as soon as he got up she noticed that he’s gonna fall from the horse right away. He ignored her arm and was going straight ahead bumping against everything and everybody. He forgot all his belonging so she collected them. For fucks sake, it was always like that in her life.

\- Where are ya going, cowboy? - her gaze went up from his head to his shoes.

\- To the camp, I have more booze there - he hiccuped and catched balance by holding against the wall.

\- Like hell, look at yourself. I’m gonna pack you inside the hotel room and you gonna catch up tomorrow. Dutch won’t be mad if it’s gonna be me telling him that.

\- Yer not going anywhere - he gestured widely, showing he’s totally not okay with this plan - Yer gonna get yourself killed in the middle of the night!

\- I have guns and I’m perfectly fine on my own since you left me, Mister.  
His eyes opened slowly like he was stroked with what she said and looked up at her face.

\- Iris? - Arthur was totally surprised that she was standing in front of him, like he wasn’t along her all evening.

\- What the fuck, did someone put some drugs to your drink? F'course it’s me, I’ve been sitting her with you last few hours.

\- I love you, girl… - his gaze become hazy and his eyes were dreamy. Oh, he was drunk as hell, she could tell that. He barely stood by himself and all those hiccups assured girl that Arthur is gonna puke.

\- Oh, bite me. Come, you need to lie down as soon as possible - she grabbed his arm and with visible difficulty lead him towards hotel, hoping the owner won’t flip out and let them in, seeing Arthur in this condition. Then he hiccuped once more and puked on her, starting with her coat and finishing on shoes.

\- Christ almighty, I could’ve predicted that. Sit there - she placed him on a bench and started wiping herself with visible disgust, breathing deeply. Now she was close to puking too.

\- I’m sorry - he burped. She passed him water canteen.

\- Grab yourself a water and get yourself together, Mister.

\- I want more booze…- he burped again - I need to drink…

\- Hell no! Look what’ve just done to me, you need water and some greasy breakfast in the morning. I will treat ya if you gonna come with me, hmmm?

He did.


	11. Chapter 11

Transporting drunk Arthur to hotel room went out surprisingly smooth, Iris was almost hundred percent sure that it was like that just because she undressed first from attire that made her intimidating and having on herself only jeans, high boots and shirt with one more button undone than usual, she charmed clerk sitting behind receptionists desk. 

\- He’s a boob man, for sure - she muttered to herself, fixing up buttons of her blouse.

\- Huh? - Arthur murmured, he was sitting on the edge of bed, rocking a little bit.

\- Nothin’, was talkin’ to myself that you are wasted like shit and that’s why I needed to lure this guy to let us in with my cleavage.   
His brows furrowed and he started undressing himself, undoing one button was taking him forever. It was quite amusing to watch, so she sat on the windowsill and observed. She searched through her pockets and when found cigarettes, she lighted one. Smoking was permitted around here but also was coming to the place shitfaced like Arthur just did.   
Arthur was actually so drunk, that he was even humming some kind of song. He got out of his shirt, and when he was doing that it seemed like he had to fight for his life with piece of cloth. Iris smirked a bit, despite all he was adorable. Arthur was leaning a little bit to the left, but still hanging.

\- Wanna go to sleep or do you have any more songs to sing, hm? - she was smoking her cigarette slowly, looking at the smoke and forming circles from it, a stupid trick that her bother taught her. To think, she was missing Olgierd sometimes, he was catching almost every hit that was meant for her when he was still alive even though he was calling her unsufferable brat that he has to feed when could do thousand of better things. 

\- I have…! - he inhaled - _Well, you can have your gold and your diamonds too, all I want is a ring dang doo-_

 _-_ Okay, that’s enough Mister _,_ shut up!

 _-_ You wanted me to sing - he whined with dissapointment and burped right away _._

\- Didn’t know you gonna pick up the most pervert song I heard in my life. No off to sleep, mister. 

\- But I haven’t f-finished y-yet - he growled and started to taking of his pants - Sshiiit! My guuns, where'r they?

\- Here, I was keeping them safe for you - she pointed to pile of stuff that belonged to him and her. 

\- G-good…- Arthur was looking at her while undressing himself, but in his eyes Iris could clearly see that it was more like looking _past_ her. She nodded aprovingly and got up, taking all the stuff he threw around himself and adding it to the pile.

\- Perfect. Now lie down and sleep. 

\- Wait a minute - every word slipping from his mouth was 3 times longer than usual - But why aren’t you sleepin’ too?

\- Oh, I am. I have my cozy place down here if you needed anything - she pointed to the loveseat in the corner of rented room - And I’m gonna give you the bucket, please try aiming to it if you gonna vomit?

\- Yer gonna sleep on this chair? Why not here with me? - he was taking off his socks and it was process that Iris actualy considered also as amusing, since Arthur was rocking from side to side, almost falling from the bed.

\- I ain’t sleeping with random man, Mr Morgan.

\- I am not rrrandom - Arthur said, hanging on letter “r” with visible amusement - We were doing that before, I rememberrr.

\- Oh, but you know - Iris quickly changed her tacatics - I don’t want you have too little space in bed so you gonna be perfectly comfortable, Mr Morgan. 

\- Ya stupid - he said plainly - how girl who’s so small would take any space in the bed like this? 

\- Whatever, let’s say I kick when I sleep. Just don’t bother your pretty head with it - she lighted up another cigarette and she was sipping whiskey from her hip-flask. 

\- I ain’t pretty, you are - he suddenly rised his head and got up from the bed, walking or would you say, swinging towards Iris - the prettiest girl I’ve ever known.

\- Hmm, what about Mary then? 

\- I don’t like her - he assured with honesty of five year old - she uses me ‘cause I’m stupid and I have no one to go to. 

Arthur tried to stand next to Iris and pick up cigarette from pack. She was watching him smirking till she registered that he tried to light it up, along with his mustache, eyelashes and brows.

\- Don’t! Let me do it - girl quickly fulfilled her proposition.

\- You are so nice, Iris… How come you are not married?

\- No one would have me, I ain’t no wife material. Especialy now - the last words were more to herself than him. She sighed and got back to forming circles with the smoke from cigarette. 

\- I would have you! You are the prettiest thing in the world - he said suddenly, with boyish grin plastered on his face - I would marry you and build you house…I saw nice house once, white, with blue windows. You would love it.

\- Yes, yes…pretty house - Girl answered but she was sadder now, deep in her thoughts, like she was drowning with every word coming out of Arthur’s mouth. It was kind of like that, never recieved this much honesty from him, he rarely spoke, rather sulked or brushed her off.

\- Mary doesn’t want me - he got back to previous subject all of sudden - she says I’m bad and dirty and that I will never change.

\- You don’t have to say those things to me, you know? I think you would consider them private if you weren’t drunk. 

\- I think you are wife material - he leaned to her, placing head on her shoulder and exhaled smoke.

\- Thank you, that’s nice. But I think you are in my personal space, did you notice?

\- I ain’t that stupid - he suddenly frowned, his face getting darker. And then he started to sob.   
_Oh fuck._

\- Shoosh, don’t cry, why are you crying?

\- I am lonely drunkass who’s gonna die somewhere shot in the head and no one would have me before that…my life is miserable - he murmured, clinging onto girl’s arm like she was supposed to save him from everything, although there was no danger.

\- It’s normal to think like this when you are drunk, it’s not true though. Look at me - she lifted his chin and he looked at her with such intense eyes that she felt shivers running down her spine right away. But she had a task now and a task was being completly inert for things like this 'cause Arthur was drunk, he wasn’t really meaning them - It’s just booze talking, you love Mary and she loves you. You gonna marry her someday, eh? Maybe this time her father won’t mess it up.

\- I don’t know…I wanted to marry you but I can’t…Why can’t I?  
Iris almost choked onto whiskey she was just drinking and her face expresion was indeterminate, but only for one, small second, after which girl started to talk normally.

\- You broke up with me, remember? You don’t love me, I’m just here to handle you tonight - she wasn’t saying that with grief, more like explaining something to a child. 

\- I broke up with you…- he said - But I don’t remember that at all?

\- Well, it wasn’t that simple, you know - she sipped a little bit of whiskey again - But after all you left me for Mary, Mary is the one right for you. They say you always should go for your second choice, because if you were satisfied with first you wouldn’t search anymore. So go to sleep, I think Mary wrote to you that she want to meet you tommorrow. Come here, gonna make you comfortable. 

\- Will you sit with me a little bit? - he said, tears streaming down his cheeks - I…I’m afraid. But don’t tell anyone, they would laugh.

\- Oh, I won’t. I promise - she said, giving him her small finger. He smiled at her and it was the saddest smile she ever saw, with eyes glimmering and cheeks rosy from crying.   
Iris put Arthur to bed and sat on the edge of mattress. She started carresing his hair.

\- Can you sing for me? I love when you do that- he mumbled, lookin’ at her with eyes that were totally absent.  
Iris was thinking for a second about the song she can pick up. And then, carresing him slowly she started singing with low, calming voice, humming. _  
  
The day is done, the time has come_  
 _You battled hard, the war is won_  
 _You did your worst_  
 _You tried your best_  
 _Now it’s time to rest_  
 _Now it’s time to rest_  
 _See the fire in your eyes_  
 _See the fire in your eyes_  
 _See the fire in your eyes_  
 _See the fire in your eyes_  
  
And just when she was sure that he was sleeping, safe and sound she broke into the ugliest cry of her life, drowning herself in whiskey till she was numb enough to sleep without nightmares.   
  
When the sun came up, Iris overheard a painfull groan from the opposite side of the room. She picked up hat from her face. She looked terrible swollen, her eyes dry.

\- Jesus - Arthur tried to straighten himself and sit up - What the hell was happening yesterday? It was just a drink or two.

\- You were the most wasted feller I ever saw around in a while, Mr Morgan - she also got up, stretching and yawning. Loveseat wasn’t that bad but her neck was radiating with pain. If it will go this fast, at age of 40 she won’t be able to move herself thanks to her sleeping and living habits. 

\- What did I do? Tell me it wasn’t anything stupid - Arthur rubbed his blue eyes. He was dressed in his union suit, unbuttoned at his chest. He looked kind of cute when he was sleepy. 

\- Nah, just puked on me and went to sleep - she lied without hesitation, picking up her coat from the floor. Well, it wasn’t quite a lie, just small portion of truth. Coat reeked with vomit and she choked herself like she was about to puke right now - Guess that needs cleaning. Hope that’s Tilly will do this. No, wrong sort of words, I’ll do anything so it won’t be me. 

\- You were the one to handle me? - he asked with surprise - I would be just fine without it.

\- I decided to help when I saw you leaving all your belongings behind and tripping over and over. 

\- Jesus, I’m sorry, kid - he said, visibly embarassed.

\- No need for that. You were easy on me - she said, looking at her puffy eyes in the mirror with disgust, touching them a little bit - I promised you breakfast in the morning and that bought me your obedience. 

\- I could totally eat somethin’, yer right - Arthur got up awkwardly, avoiding her gaze reflecting in the mirror. 

\- Ya sayin’, Mr Morgan? Well, all the booze and food you paid for yesterday are on my coat if you still need it - she said with sarcastic manner.   
  
They were eating in completly empty saloon and Iris was deep in her thoughts, nibbling slowly her oatmeal. Owner was polishing the bar with damp cloth, peeking her a look. He smiled at her with friendly manner, when he met her lost gaze. She smiled back. 

\- You look like ya had yesterday one too much just like me - Arthur gruffed.

\- That’s my face. I guess I look like that everyday - she shrugged and got back to staring absently towards the bar. It somehow satisfied her to look at the bar that was getting clean and shiny.   
It was one of the most awkward mornings in her life. Arthur wasn’t reconing even a small detail from what he said to her at night, her head and eyes hurt and he was setting there in front of her, throwing looks. Not that girl was expecting anything nice, especially from man who was drunk enough to propose to her while in the daylight he could barely stand her presence. 

\- What? - she said finally, not feeling so comfortable anymore.

\- Do you even see me there in front of you or were you always eating with your mouth open like that, eh? 

\- Remind me to not help you next time, Mr Morgan. I can clearly see I made you uncomfortable with meddling in - Iris replied almost unaudible.   
\- You could leave me there, I would be okay, so stop babbling, woman - Arthur’s tone was harsh and iritated. Mostly because he was mad with himself, but girl shrinked a little bit more in her seat.  
\- F'cours - she assured.  
  
Everything got back to normal when they returned to the camp, Arthur disappeared even without saying “goodbye”. Maybe he wasn’t that bad when he was drunk? Iris was almost sure, that he wasn’t. At least the was showing affection in a healthy way.  
She hid herself in the trees near camp with journal. She started writing her thoughts down and after an hour decided to read it. Notes were a totall mess, starting with “I still love him” to “I think I’m just gonna leave soon to do something good with my life”. Iris took deep breath and shaked it off, trying to get herself together one more time.  
  
It wasn’t long till Dutch called for her to talk through one of his amazing plans. Mary-Beth overheard about some train during her trip to Valentine.

\- Train full of rich folks, riding through the night. Sounds perfect, but were you thinking how you gonna stop it, Dutch? - Iris was sitting on one of barrels, playing with her hair. _Dutch and his plans, one worser than another._

\- That’s why I gathered you here - he threw look at Iris, Arthur, Micah and Charles - I’ve got a plan but I could hear you out, too.

\- I love this sentence and how you trie to hide that your plans are holed just like swiss cheese - Iris piped in, making her voice to sound innocent and Micah smirked. Dutch was looking at her and she starred back, taking place in this blinking contest. Everyone else frowned at them, like they were crazy.

\- Okay, you blinked, I won. Also I got somethin’ - Iris suddenly got up.

\- Wonder what’s gonna be that, zombie - Micah’s voice was full of sarcasm.

\- We could stop them at the bridge. Blow it up. They will have no choice except to stop, unless driver wants to kill bunch of aristocrats. They will have no choice than stepping out the train 'cause it won’t go anywhere from there.   
Everyone stopped eyes on Iris. She shrugged.

\- Someone had to born with brain. Nothing else won’t stop a train, especially when driver’ll see us.

\- That was actualy brilliant…uh, for you - said Arthur, smirking sarcastically. 

\- Dutch, what do you think?

\- I’m thankfull we found you in those mountains, or something like that - Dutch shrugged, lighting up a cigar and leaving the tent.   
  
Arthur and John blew up the bridge, 'causing great hole in the middle of it. Everything seemed to be perfect in this plan. At night they were waiting in the middle of the forest, ready for action. Hidden in bushes, sitting in sadles they were awaiting train’s sound. And there it came.  
Except it didn’t stop, the driver didn’t know there is gonna be an obstacle. It was middle of the night and moon wasn’t there, almost immidiately covered by clouds, leaving him oportunity to not notice more in front of the train.

\- What the fuck?! What the hell we gonna do now?! Get down there and search thru pile of smashed bodies? - Dutch started shouting and everyone looked at each other in shock.

Iris was thinking, quickly, 'cause train was quick too, not intenting to stop and wait for them to rob it. The idea popped into her head and it was just wild. She turned her horse the other way and started galloping, as fast as she could and everyone followed her.

\- What are ya doing, eh?! - Dutch was the closes one to her.

\- You gonna see, if it won’t work out you won’t have this train anyway. But if it’ll have…

\- Yer not thinking about jumping?! - Arthur screamed after her.

\- Why not? - she threw him a quick look full of determination.

\- You are crazy - he opened his eyes wide, trying to catch a breath - you gonna kill yourself!

\- If so, burry me somewhere nice - was all she said, standing up in her stirrups and jumping to the first wagon where driver was, screaming like she was riding a rollercoaster. They still were chasing the train and after few seconds they thought that’s gonna be it but then there was few gunshots, the driver fell of from the window and train stopped.

Iris appeared with her nose absolutely smashed. Arthur just couldn’t believe it, she was like cat, nothing could kill her, always falling onto four feet.

\- He had me in first half, not gonna lie. I need to get wasted after that one, boys - she smiled, and the blood was dripping inside her mouth now, she didn’t seem bothered by it - Micah, come come, we have things to do and people to see.

\- I was wonderin’ - he said as he getting off the horse - How come ya have bigger balls than everyone around here?

\- Or maybe just nothin’ to lose. Hurry up - she grabbed Micah’s hand firmly, helping him with getting on the train. And the magic happened.

\- Ladies and Gentelman, I’m gonna enjoy robbing you! - Iris said, as she stormed inside, holding two guns up and aiming around the wagon.

\- Listen to the lady and do as she says or ya gonna end up shortened a head - Micah’s voice was awful, intimidating and harsh. 

Everyone around the train was searching through their pockets quickly, some woman started to sob, placing a watch in Iris’s hand, looking directly into green eyes of outlaw girl. 

\- Yes, yes, just like that, come to mama~ - Iris was catching everything they have inside the bag, or hiding it inside her pockets and between her tits.   
  
They went throgh half the train when they suddenly heard shots. _Fuck_.

\- Pinkertons! - Dutch’s voice was first to be heard.

\- Amazing, just great! Move, we need to get out! - Micah catched Iris’s wrist, dragging girl after him like she was doll made from rags. They reached the door at the end of carriage.  
And then suddenly the train started moving.

\- Shit, shit, shit! - she looked around and a bullet flew above her head. They couldn’t jump off now and what’s more, they are going to die - What now?!

\- Come on, yer the one with plans! - Micah spreaded his arms in act of decapitation.  
Iris of course had one. It was more like another lunatic idea but girl was sure she’s gonna die anyway tonight, doesn’t matter if the bullet will kill her or something else. She jumped up on the trains roof and Micah followed her, they were running toward trains back, shooting Pinkertons’ heads off. 

\- What are ya doing, ya crazy?! - Arthur catched the train up, his horse was chugging, as man visible forced it to gallop for much too long. 

\- Under this bridge there is water. Deep, scary Dakota River!

\- She wants to jump! We gona jump - Micahs eyes went almost blank as he said it out loud.

\- There are yer horses, jump on them! - Dutch yelled from the opposite of the wagon.

\- And end up like a cripple?! No fuckin’ way, I’d rather just die, Mister! Catch it - Iris threw bag with money and valuables as she was facing the bridge now and deep inside her heart Iris was scared as hell, she was scared of dying, she was scared because there was only a choice between killing herself and killing herself more quickly.

\- Break a leg! - she yelled to Arthur and Dutch as they stopped right before bridge borders and she jumped off, barely flying above tracks and bridge’s railings. She was screaming all the way down, followed by Micah, while the train got stuck, slowly slipping down into the abyss.

\- If we gonna live through this then- - Iris wanted to say she’s gonna consider being Micah’s friend but she hit the waters surface.   
At first she felt great pain in her back and her head was feeling like it weighted a thousand pounds. Her first thought - _I’m gonna be paralised._  
But then she started moving towards the surface, coughing havily right away. In all her plan there was one hole and it wasn’t one blowed up in the rails. River’s flow was strong and she couldn’t swim.  
It was fight that lasted forever, water dragging her down, pushing her around like she was just a weightless stick. After what happened it would be stupid death, to drown. She wasn’t accepting it, this didn’t feel right. There was fallen tree and Iris knew it will hurt when she’s gonna catch it, forcing her body to stop.. But she did and it made her choke as trunk’s surface met her ribcage and stomach, leaving her breathless. _Never gonna rob the train again_.   
Dark sand on the shore was dirty and itchy, but it was solid ground, winning competition with ice-cold river. Iris was breathing hard and few meters away there was Micah, wheezing and spitting out water.

\- Totally would do that again! - she yelled ironicaly and then the rest appeared, on their horses with two loose, hers and Micah’s.

\- Have ya lost your mind?! - Dutch yelled - And how the fuck you pulled it out, especially you! Ya fragile like dry branches!

\- What ya gonna say if I would tell you that not the jump would kill me but the fact I forgot I can’t swim? - she grinned and touched her nose right away, hissing. In this moment she reminded herself as clerk tried to knock her off, causing damage.

\- You’re out of your mind! Everything over three hundred dollars?!

\- Ya sayin’ like other things we pulled out was sipping the tea at the garden, Dutch- Micah said, slowly getting up.

\- You underestimate me- said Iris and making everything gasp she started to taking out things from her clothes, throwing them towards man. It was worth another three hundred or even more - I never keep everything I stole in one place, I trust no one, especially myself if you get me? - she pointed bridge with her thumb.

\- I-I…I simply don’t know what to say - Dutch started laughing histerically - How the fuck one person can pull of stunts like this?! 

\- Like you said, it was your happy day when you found me - girl scoffed and pulled out nice pocket watch from between her titts, showing it off to everybody - I’m gonna keep it as my share. I like nice things.   
  
When they were heading back Iris discovered that in one of watch’s half there was a place for small photo, probably to keep someone’s important face near one’s heart while two people in love were away from each other. Iris smiled faintly as a little bit of grief was embracing her heart.  
Girl was wondering if there ever will be someone to put their portrait in here. **  
**


	12. Chapter 12

Iris was at her tent, undressing herself with nose was patched up and she still heard Mrs Grimshaw’s harsh yelling in her head. Her shirt landed on the floor as it was ruined with crimson of blood.  
  
\- What the fuck were you thinking today?! - Arthur stormed inside her tent, completely ignoring fact she’s undressed, wearing only her lingerie.   
  
\- Huh? - she tilted her head to the side, looking visibly surprised.  
  
\- You could kill yourself, you idiot, twice times today!   
  
\- So what? That’s my job - she shrugged - I’m an outlaw just like you.   
  
\- Are you out of your mind? - Arthur looked furious, his voice harsh as gravel and eyes stormy. Iris was trying to reckon if he ever was furious like that before, but she couldn’t remember. Not towards herself, at least.   
  
\- What would be better in situation when I had choice to fall down along with the train, jump on my horse like you said and probably break my spine or risk life and jump into the water?  
  
\- I’m not only about it - he growled, throwing his hands in the air and gesticulating with them, showing frustration - You’re not going anywhere else with us!  
  
\- Excuse me? I am amazing with getting things done, especially when you think that all Dutch’s plans are stupid and naive while I can fix all of them. I am not gonna stop - girl shaked her head in disbelief.

\- That’s the problem, you are amazing with pulling these out, ‘cause you are crazy! - Arthur grabbed her arm and shook Iris like it was meant to wake up her.

\- Even if, what’s bad about it? - Iris tried to back off, but couldn’t as his fingers were pinning into her forearm.

\- How couldya’ve said that you have nothing to lose? - Arthur said suddenly with much more silent voice, slowly looking away.

\- But I don’t and you know it’s true! - Iris laughed but there was no joy in it 

\- My life? I’m gonna be dead sooner or later, I’m not a town girl nor wife sitting at home, I’m an outlaw just like you, Mr Morgan. The only difference is when I’m gonna die. 

\- I-I…How can you say things like this? They sound so easy in your mouth it makes me afraid - Arthur was disbelieving Iris’s words with “hurt puppy” eyes.

\- I always thought you’re never lying to yourself, but here we are. What I’m saying is true, all I have is group of people in this camp, but everyone is risking, anyone can die tommorrow, or in two weeks, you just don’t know it! You can’t hold me away from all this dirt and…I needed this money. 

\- Money?! You were caring about the money?! - Arthur was starting to boil once more.

\- I need it if I’m gonna move some day soon - she said and it made him freeze.

He threw her look of kicked dog.  
\- What? - Iris noticed his intentions right away - You were thinking I’m gonna stay forever? I’m in my twenties and all I have is this tent and nowhere to go, no one to look after or no one to hold me there, isn’t it obvious? I can go to New York, or even freakin’ Tahiti, maybe become a doctor to make my life less boring and miserable.  
But that was exactly what Arthur was thinking. He just realized that now there was no strings attached between them and that she was thinking about moving, mentioning it in the past, when they were still friends, talking every night in the light of oil lamp. Arthur Morgan was always thinking that he has time but there she was, proving he’s wrong and also a fool. 

\- Iris, I still need you - he said but she didn’t hear him. There was screams coming from outside. At first, Iris bursted out, thinking that’s it’s something horrible, tripping over her own legs. But it was very opposite.  
Everyone could see like John Marston in kneeling in front of Abigail Roberts, holding an engagement ring. 

-Oh my god, John, yes! - Abigail yelled with visible shock and disbelief in her eyes. Normaly woman didn’t like being in the centre but marring John properly was her deep hidden dream.

\- It’s time for me, to do somethin’ proper out of us, Aby. I want to make you happy - John was speaking quietly and with gentle manner but everyone heard it as no one dared to breath or else.

Iris was looking at pair, sharing few tears of joy. It was simply beautiful, somethin’ she wished for them deeply in her heart. It was also something she was dreaming about for herself for short period of time and was moved that they were so lucky to have it. It was little proof for herself, that she could have normal life someday, that she could leave this camp and finally that they are were family. Disfunctional one, but family. She noticed with corner of her eye that Arthur was looking at her. She wiped her face from tears quickly, walking away to hug Abigail and John just like everybody.   
This evening turned away differently than everyone expected. People catched every bottle of booze they had and gathered around the fire. Soon they were singing every song they knew, laughing, talking and dancing. John was the one who’s wasted the most, obviously, he liked to drink when he was happy and today happines weren’t the right word. It was more than overjoy. There was also Iris with bottle in her hand, who was joyful enough to yell the lyrics of one songs they both knew, dancing with John as they were tripping over each other, making Abigail laugh as she clapped in the rythm her friends wasn’t minding anyway.

Arthur was watching Iris carefuly. She looked happy, joyful even but it seemed weird and unsetteling. And then something clicked inside Arthur’s head. Iris was drinking everyday, chugging down on bottle of whiskey almost every evening and now she, with her fragile body, was enough strong to keep up with John without getting wasted. She had also having this hip-flask that she was drinking from time to time. All puzzles fitted right now.   
  
  
\- You’re an alcoholic - Arthur hissed, when he catched Iris from between others and quickly dragged away, hiding they both in his tent. Man quickly pulled down flaps, giving this conversation needed privacy. Arthur didn’t care much if it’s uncomfortable for Iris, the way he just treated her - How many drinks did you have today, eh?

\- Hmm…A bottle and still counting! - she said, giggling, completely clueless - Come on, don’t be such sourpuss, Mr Morgan! 

\- You’re an alcoholic! - he shouted again, much more agressively at her face and girl stopped smiling right away.

\- F'course I am - she spoke slowly, like was supposed to explain something to child - My daddy was and I am too, that’s no surprise. Now I think I kind of get him, whiskey’s your best friend. It always listens to your heart and it lulles you to sleep so easily, when all you see is dirty ceiling of your tent. It makes you warm, just like you were in lover arms - she looked dreamily now, smiling a little - That’s why I’m gonna drink till the day I’ll fall asleep drunk and choke myself with my own vomit. Cheers to that! - she took big gulp from the bottle, few drops falling down girl’s chin.

\- No! - he grabbed her arm, tearing the whiskey away from her hands and spilling it on the floor.

\- Ey, I payed for that! And you’re stupid to think I had only one or two - she laughed but she was furious and it sounded more like barking. 

-Get yourself together, eh?! - Arthur placed empty bottle on the trunk with loud bang.

\- What?! You saying something like this? - she looked almost amused. Almost if only it wasn’t for fury and fire dancing in her pupils.

\- Yes, me! I won’t let you ruin your life! 

\- And who you are to judge me, eh?! Big scary boys who clinged onto me when he gets drunk, crying because his lovely Mary won’t have him nor now, not even in ten years, 'cause she’s a bitch who uses him to run errands for her! 

\- Excuse me? - he froze, not knowing what’s going on. It was his thoughts but he wasn’t reckoning saying them out loud ever, especially to Iris.

\- Oooh, bullseye, you don’t remember it! - girl looked like she was satisfied as hell with this discovery - You seriously belived when I said you just blanked out after puking on my new coat the other night! But no, there’s much more to that and I’m gonna tell you a story - she was pacing, looking at him with fury. 

Arthur didn’t say a thing, nor moved. He was to shocked, but God, if he knew what’s coming he would sit down already.  
\- So I was sitting in your tent the other night and you weren’t there, as always. I felt frivolous enough to take a look around, finding maybe something funny I could torture you within’ a while, but oh, I was so shoked! A pile of letters, love letters under your cot. You left me for Mary Linton, just cutting our strings lose, not respecting me enough to tell that out loud. But that was expectable, I’ve never thought well enough about myself to expect being treated nicely. I wanted to search for ya, I wanted honesty from your mouth - she stopped for a moment, collecting her thoughts - and I got it when someone shoot me, robbed me and left me to die. 

\- Iris, I- - Arthur choked on words as they fought to leave his throat. 

\- No, no, that’s not the best one I have for you today, loverboy - she hissed - Because when someone found me and drove me to the doctor in Saint Denis, I’ve been told I’m gonna live because someone took a bullet for me and it was our child. I was pregnant and I found out about it like this. And I will probably never gonna be pregnant again - she lifter her chemise and there it was, fresh scar, shiny and pink, running from belly button to left side - How do you like it, Arthur? Look at it closely! I know I look beautiful like that - Iris’s voice was malicious, getting every small amout satisfaction from relieving secret that would hurt Arthur just like he did hurt her. _No, it was only very bad dream_. He’s gonna wake up and laugh it off. Even his life wasn’t this much miserable. But no, it wasn’t any fantasy and girl stormed pass him, going to her tent. Arthur followed her and when he entered Iris’s tent she already was grabbing another whiskey, hidden under her cot.

\- Why you didn’t tell me straight away?! - Arthur was finally able to spit anything from mouth but his throat was numb, big gulp growing inside.

\- You haven’t even notice me missing, nor wondering why I lie in my tent all day and Dutch doesn’t say a thing. Why would I tell you anything? - Iris shrugged, her face hopeless. How could Arthur expect anything from her?

\- So I could protect you! I’m barely speaking english, how can you expect me to read your mind? - Arthur’s eyes looked wet and red but not even single tear fallen down his cheeks. Man was to proud for this.

\- Protect me from what? You should protect me from yourself, 'cause you’re the one who knocked me over and left - Iris shaked head, face forming into a frown. 

\- Protect you so you would never get shot, protect you so you wouldn’t work like that. I was doin’ that with Eliza- - Arthur really tried to justify his need of protection but they both knew he couldn’t, not right now. 

\- The girl I am similar to, but lacking her soothin’ temper, eh? Oh I know all your dirty little secrets, 'cause you gave me no reason to trust you and I was right, never taking your presence for granted, nor your words. Arthur, you were going in and out of this relationship like my heart was made of stone - she sobbed, curling up in the very corner of her bed, cuddling a bottle of booze.

\- I need you! - man looked at Iris hopelessly, trying anything he could try to get them both back on tracks. But for now there weren’t any right words.

\- You merely remember to notice me, back then and now, Arthur - girl waved him off, ignoring confession - but I get this…After all I’m just a kid who can’t even kiss you the way you like being kissed. Why would you ever got back to me? - she cried in despair but he just left, leaving her to herself.   
For Arthur it wasn’t leaving because he hated Iris, he just couldn’t deal with emotions that were tearing him apart right now, puting pins into his heart and causing migraine, pain pulsing in man’s temples. But girl was thinking amiss, taking it as Arthur’s giving up. 

\- Glad that I still have you - she whispered after a moment of looking into direction Arthur went, opening a bottle and downing it at once, then falling on her back and going asleep in yesterday’s clothes. They simply weren’t meant for each other. **  
**


	13. Chapter 13

Arthur Morgan wasn’t leading the best life. It was full of danger, stress and runaways. Man did many things wrong, not looking after Eliza and Isaac to start with, not learning a lesson to not fuck with young girls as it will ruin their life. And there was Arthur, clinging onto memory of his last fallout with Iris. It was something horrible, something that dragged him down for couple days now. Arthur really wanted to talk with Iris but every time he saw her alone, he couldn’t. He had lump in his throat just by looking at girl and when was just sure about what he’s gonna say, he forgot all the words. But maybe there were none? Maybe he fucked up another thing that was important to him and he had to cope with it? And finally, maybe it will be easier to shut her out?

She was sitting on the grass and washing up clothes, her hair falling onto her beauitful face. Arthur was worried that broken nose is gonna change her appearance but it was the same, it healed well and quickly as she had vigor in herself. Arthur started sketching Iris, hiding away from her gaze so he could memorize every of her feautures without being noticed.

She’s leaving, he overheard, now for sure. The night after John’s wedding she’s gonna be long gone, moving to some big city. She’s leaving even if only to became a waitress instead of robbing people and to live on her own. 

All ideas he had were terrible. Arthur was thinking about stealing her money so Iris won’t be able to leave so soon but he wanted her to stay and love him, not just make her life more miserable. He noticed piece of his own face reflecting in the mirror that he usually used for shaving and he felt disgusted with himself, putting object face down. Arthur overheard her sobbing in a tent one night and that was it. Do or die - Arthur said to himself, because if he’s gonna leave her like that in this very moment, he’s gonna become even worse cold motherfucker. 

Cowboy peeked inside between two flaps and found Iris lying on the bed, makeup running down her cheeks, visibly drunk. She haven’t notice him at first. She was holding a letter and one of he’s shirts, cuddling with it. 

\- Can I come in? - he felt like an idiot even for asking that, knowing the answer. But there was still a blink of hope, right?  
Iris looked stuttered and embarassed when she noticed his presence but then her features softened. She was drinking again, but it was different. Iris got sentimental today rather than furious or playful and Arthur knew the feeling, he was getting like this too whe he had too much. 

Arthur rested on the cot, near to her feet. Without any thinking he started carresing Iris’s leg.  
\- I’m okay, not need to pity me - she murmured after a while, wiping tears away, turning face into opposite direction from Arthur’s gaze.

\- You don’t look like “okay”. I feel like I can help even to pay for small piece of my faults…?

She was starving for his touch, that’s why she straightened her legs so he would be more comfortable to reach them. They remained like this in another moment of silence, Arthurs fingers tickling girl’s skin.

\- Is that my shirt? - he asked, not getting the point of having it. 

\- Yes, I stole it from your tent last week. Yes, it might be creepy. But…I don’t care what you think about me anymore - Iris mumbled. 

\- I ain’t gettin’ it, girl, it’s just dirty shirt of mine - Arthur shaked his head, eyes widening. 

\- It’s the closest thing to hugging you when I am drunk enough to fool myself it’s you lying next to me. Helps me sleepin’ too.  
Arthur rarely felt like falling apart to cry, but this was this moment. After all of that he was still in her heart and she associated him with safety. He decided he’s gonna take a bit of luck and he aproached her slowly, takin’ her into bear hug. Iris’s hands curled around his chest in no time.   
Arthur was rocking her a little, stroking her hair and small of her back. Iris couldn’t fight anymore, even she didn’t have enough pride to push Arthur away and shut him out. Cpwboy was needed right now. 

\- What did I do to deserve it? - she whispered, her voice sad - I will do that again just to have you over even one more time in the future if you’d share this secret… 

\- You don’t have to to do anythin’. I am the problem here, honey, not you - Arthur’s voice was soothing as he planted kiss ontop of Iris’s head.

\- Arthur, I became homeless today - Iris suddenty changed topic, passing him a piece of paper. It was a poster with her face on it. “Iris Rhiannon/ from Van Der Linde Gang/ Wanted dead or alive/ 2000$”.

\- That means I have to take all money I saved and probably sell everything I own - girl said as noticed Arthur familiarised himself with poster - That thing I pulled out with the train couldn’t work out without slapping me back. I should’ve know better. 

\- Iris, listen - Arthur cut in suddenly, maybe it wasn’t the nicest but he didn’t care, it was intentions that mattered now - I can help you.

\- I’m not pregnant with your child anymore so there’s no reason for you looking after me, Arthur. I’m gonna be fine… somehow - Iris hesistated like she tried to convince himself, not Morgan.

\- You gonna be fine? Ah, goddamn, woman, don’t try to be proud when you obviously need me! You can’t even leave the camp now! - Arthur shaked his head, speaking impatiently but she backed off, visibly scared.

\- Why did you come here yelling at me, I don’t need you! - she pushed him away

\- Jesus, I’m sorry - man lowered his tone right away - I just ain’t gonna let it happen, money means nothin’ to me now, okay? Let me save you - he demanded, cupping Iris’s small hand with his bigger one.

Iris suddenly gave in and nodded, blushing briefly. Even if she wasn’t thinking about accepting offer for real it was heartwarming and flattering that he tried to fight. Arthur decided he’s gonna drink with her tonight, unless none of these words will come out. Man wasn’t used to showing weakness, he’d rather be dominant asshole. So he took big gulp from the bottle, preparing for being more tender.

\- If the bounty hunters are gonna come for you they won’t simply kill you, they gonna take you to town and I’m gonna watch you hang, you know that? That’s why I will help you and that’s it. - he was giving her this fatherly speech, with low, demanding voice. 

\- Only if it’ll make you feel better - Iris shrugged, tucking strand of hair behind her ear. 

\- It’s not about me, Darlin’ - he caressed girl’s head, playing with one of locks - I will probably never gonna pay you back for my deeds so that’s good start for me to be a better man, for you. 

Iris took a place with her back against tent’s wall and started looking at her nails with embarrassment. Her fantasies weren’t going so far when she expected to see him, so now it was akward to sit next to him as all of those words didn’t seem honest or true.

\- Don’t overthink it, even if it’s gonna be only for now, ‘kay? 

\- I guess you’re right. If you are here, we could use this time better.   
They drank together that night and cuddled like they had no worries. Arthur was telling Iris stories about the craziest things he did with the gang so far, and she giggled, admiring he’s composed face when he tried to collect thoughts to describe everything in best way. It seemed almost like they never argued, like man never hurt Iris so badly…like they were a real couple. 

\- That’s why I don’t like to see you risking your life. I was to close to dying stupid death many times in my life - Arthur said finally, eyes softing at sight of Iris’s face. 

\- I kind of like it - Iris exclaimed and then she noticed how close to each other they were, their noses millimeters apart - I mean, the adrenaline rush - she finished slowly, looking at Arthur’s lips. 

Suddenly Arthur realized that if they would kiss he wouldn’t mind. He smiled with charming manner and caressed Iris’s arm, inhaling her scent floating in the air. She always smelled like honey and flowers. 

Then their lips met, both surprised with reaction of opposite side. Arthur and Iris was kissing like they were starving and this act were supposed to feed them. Arthur started to purr like a cat, parting girls lips with his tongue, tangling fingers into her hair. Iris climbed on his lap right away, Arthur’s hips between her tights as she was facing him and she deepened the kiss. They both started to sweat and their hands were running all around each other’s bodies. Iris was trembling, melting away Arthur’s body, playing with buttons of his shirt and with his suspenders. She moaned against his lips. It was hot, too hot and Arthur decided it has to stop or someone is gonna feel guilty in the morning.

\- Iris, baby, we can’t do that - he catched breath and tried to calm himself, ignoring her proximity and the fact he was horny as hell.

\- Why? - girl asked, her face going sad and in pain in not time - I want you now…

\- You just think you want me and I have one rule, I don’t have sex when one of the sides is too drunk to decide about it properly - he explained, trying to look away from her cleavage right in front his eyes. 

\- What a gentelman you are - Iris said, backing off and resting on the edge of bed. Her back was facing Arthur right now. Girl was trying to collect her thoughts, surprised with an outcome of their actions but in very bad way. Like she was opening a present and there was nothing inside the box.

\- I just don’t want to use you, and-

\- Just cut it. You don’t want me and that’s it - she shrugged, eyes pierced into the floor - but of course you don’t. 

\- Oh - Arthur murmured to her ear, his warm breath ticklish- I want you more than ever, you can clearly see what you can do to me…

\- If it was true you wouldn’t stop. But it’s all calculated, eh? Your feelings even don’t behave like ones. You are… the coldest person I know. 

\- I would never turn you down, you know that - he started caressing her back with his lips, it gave Iris this weird sensation in her stomach.

\- At morning when I saw my poster I thought I hit my rock bottom, but no. I did it right now - she giggled but there was nothing happy to it- I’m not even good enough for one night stand. I never expected being this low that man I consider as handsome doesn’t even want to use me, hiding behind explanations. Guess life is full of surprises for me.

\- How can you be like this? You want me to use you?! - Arthur was shoked and maybe even offened by the was Iris was thinking.

\- I just thought for a moment it’s somehow normal again. It felt normal, being like this with you. Don’t bother yourself with any more explanations, please - Iris quickly wiped away her tears so he wouldn’t see them - Goodnight, Arthur. 

\- Let me stay with you, please? - Arthur said with hope in the last word.

\- If that’s what you need - sgirl shaked her head with disappointment. Normally she would just chug on the bottle and fall asleep drunk but she just simply rested on the bed and curled up with his shirt. Arthur was unbelievable. 

\- I think that’s what _you_ need, eh, girl? 

\- I don’t know anymore - she shrugged - But yea, stay. You are more than welcome. 

Iris looked at him as he undressed to his union suit and she saw his chest peeking from between the buttons. She blushed and looked away. Arthur’s skin was nicely tanned, soft and peppered with hair. Arthur run fingers through his hair and yawned. He looked incredible adorable when he was sleepy, 'cause it was one of those moments he fully let down his guard. She started feeling guilt, she had no right to have him and he was right turning her down. Iris suddenly appreciated the fact he lost enough time to figure out something smart and nice to tell her instead of that he’s simply not interested in her anymore. Girl wouldn’t sure if she would keep herself together if it were the words he would use. Real gentelman like Arthur wasn’t meant for insufferable brat like her. 

\- What’re you thinking about? - Arthur rested behind her back and closed the distance between them, Iris felt like wave of warmth is going through her body. 

\- Nothin’ - she lied briefly - I guess… I’m too drunk to think. That’s why I do that in the first place, I mean, drinking. 

He hummed with aproval, burrying his face in crook of Iris’s neck 

\- Wanna sleep already? This was a really long day for you.

It wasn’t only guilt now, this feeling quickly mixed up with shame and realisation. They were lying in her bed, wearing only their undergarments and even in this very moment, he just cuddled her instead of tearing her apart like lover would do. Iris was no woman for him. Few minutes passed before brunette interrupted this tense silence.

\- How are you feeling, Arthur? I mean, any coughing lately?

-…no. Surprisingly - he opened his eyes with realisation. He wasn’t in pain anymore but lately so many things happened he couldn’t even think about being sick. Untill now. 

\- Guess I did good. Feeding you with all those weird herbs back then - she stopped and collected her thoughts - I know you got TB. Or had it, as I see now, thanks to book you bought me for birthday. 

Arthur got up quickly, his eyes full of questions. Like she just dropped the bomb. 

\- When you got back from being O'Driscolls hostage and I was taking care of you I noticed that you spit blood while you cough. I had to do something - she was playing with buttons of Arthur’s shirt, the one she still cuddled instead of turning around to face him - Just wasn’t sure it would work, so I observed you without letting you false hopes. But today I lie next to you and listen to your breath knowing I did good.

\- You cured my tuberculosis?! H-how? I’ve been told I’m gonna die soon, so-

\- And even with this thought you wouldn’t have me tonight to be real gentelman, how sweet of you - she smirked and got up, grabbing bottle of booze from the floor - Goodnight, Arthur. Hope it’s last time we see each other like this. 

\- Where are you going, eh? - Arthur got up and catched her arm, squeezing it. She hissed. 

\- Away from you, that’s where. Everything you do is pushing me away and pulling me back when you have no one else to go, but…- she looked up into his eyes, those eyes devil would be proud to have and smiled sadly - I guess I can’t do that anymore. Even if it means breaking up forever with you. 

\- What are you talking about, you can’t just do that, you need my help! - Arthur spreaded his arms in gesture of disbelief.

\- So give me it if it’s really meaningless for you to pay two thousand dollars for my head. And then fuck off. But you wouldn’t do that, will ya? You don’t want to help _me_ , you want to buy me so I’ll keep meeting with you on those pathetic terms like nothing ever happened.

\- What did I do now to deserve this? I am no saint but I came here today to help and all I get is this angry face of yours - Arthur’s tone was showing visible irritation. Iris was the only person who could put him from peace to boiling anger in few seconds. 

\- Guess people don’t work like that, Mr Morgan - Iris looked aside with unsure expression, like she was afraid to look at his face and see something in there - I still remember everything, despite fact loving you and… there will be a time for me I will have to run and don’t look back. Not even after you. 

\- You still want to move? Even now? You are crazy, probably half of people around are waiting to catch you! - he gestured towards tent’s entrace.

\- So let them try, there is nothing much left of me anyway. You say I’m crazy pulling out stunts like I was a cat with 7 lifes behind my belt but no, I am doing that because I have only one and it’s shitty as hell. Drink to that, Mr Morgan!

And with those words she left Arthur speechless, as he was looking after her silhuette fading away into the warm night.


	14. Chapter 14

Arthur got up from bed with shitty mood this day, thinking about events from few night’s before. How could Iris be so cold to him? Man couldn’t get away from these thoughts. But he also knew that he deserved much more than only few harsh words. He was a bastard so she was dealing with him like with one. Woman was merciful enough to keep him around, at least that’s what Arthur told himself.

One thing couldn’t get off his head. Where was she? Whatever he tried, Arthur couldn’t find her recently, but the tent was here and girl’s presence was visible, marked with her clothes, thrown on the floor or on the bed. He suddenly heard that someone is breaking glass behind the trees somewhere around the tent he was sleeping in.

\- Glad it ain’t your job - Iris was leaning against the tree. She looked different today, fresh, happy and she wasn’t hangover. Girl was dressed similar to Arthur, black trousers with suspenders, dark green shirt, gun belt, high boots and her hair was collected in messy bun on the top of her little head. She was talking to Sean, who was shooting towards empty beer bottles.

\- What about you, you can’t do that to, can ya? - boy’s accent was strong and thick, Sean visibly mocking Iris.

\- Maybe you want to go with me and see me in action so you won’t underestimate me anymore - woman threw him challenging gaze.

\- What are you both up to, kids? - Arthur approached them, taking position on the opposite side to Iris’s.

\- Sean decided he’s gonna train shooting skills. But there is one thing, bastard’s drunk.

\- That gives you twice much chances to shot someone! - Arthur spreaded his arms as honest and hearty laugh escaped his lungs.

\- Stop scolding me, you are not even older than me, Iris! And by the way, you were the one who went yesterday downtown and killed some folk to pay your bounty, when half the state is hoping to shoot you for two thousand dollars.  
It was supposed to be a secret between her and Sean and Arthur threw her angry look right away. She wouldn’t use his help and she meant it. The crease between his brows remained deep and his ocean eyes were locked on very certain person.

\- Well, look at me, paying two thousand dollars fine for my head and killing multiple fellers when all you have to do is shot 5 bottles that ain’t moving and you can’t do that, can ya?

\- I asked you to help me, not to scold me - Sean approached her, lowering his tone to calm and obedient so Arthur wouldn’t hear what comes next - Don’t make me ask him, he would laugh me off.

\- Oh, that’s who you are afraid of! Never would thought about that - she said out loud, looking at Arthur and smirking - Ye knew I learned form him, eh?

\- You think you are so much better? Okay, give it a go, your best shot, Rhiannon!  
Iris threw him look of someone who’s done with his shit and in the nick of time she pulled out a gun and almost at the same moment bottle cracked. She wasn’t as fast as Arthur, but it was still impressive.

\- Grow up - she said and turned around on heel.

\- Oh come on, I’m paying you for that, don’t go away, please? - Sean changed his tactics immidiately.

\- You’re paying for my compliments, not for real advices, attaboy. And I cannot be bought.  
Arthur stayed out of it, but it was amusing to watch as Iris is roasting everybody around wherever she can. That’s his girl.

\- I think you are too harsh on me, that’s all - Sean got back to shooting, throwing looks above his arm to be sure Iris is still watching him.

\- Oh, poor boy, some little lady is making you cry. You can ask our old Arthur for help, if ya don’t like me - she patted Arthur’s arm and Sean frowned.

\- I won’t listen to no Englishman!

\- I don’t like the way you talk to her, kid - Arthur scoffed, giving boy judgemental eyes - Guess you just lost chances with both of us.

Sean threw him disappointed look and got back to his task.

Iris left Sean and Arthur followed her, grabbing her arm suddenly and turning her around.

\- I told ya not to go anywhere alone, I offered you the money that could save you, why you keep pushing me and my help away? - he was towering her, looking down with disappointment. Iris’s back rested against the tree and she tool deep breath.

\- Arthur…darling…I told you I can’t use your help, especially when it comes to money. Look at us, the last thing I need is to be financialy dependent. We don’t get along at all.

\- And why is that, what is wrong with me taking care of you? - man’s palm rested near Iris’s head when the elbow was straightened, closing one of possible ways for her to leave him hanging right now.

\- You’re not the one that should do that, Mister! You have woman you care about in your life, Arthur, her name’s Mary.

\- It’s different with you - he murmured, averting his gaze.

-It is, you are right. There is nothing between us and you try to pretend it is.

\- Nothin’ between us, huh? And all those feelings we share? Since I met you my heart is fluttering as soon as I see you and I feel like a fool - Arthur muttered under his breath, it was crystal clear he hated speaking about his emotions.

\- Feelings aren’t enough sometimes. I shut this door, Arthur. It’s over.

\- You’re breaking up with me?

\- Arthur, we were never properly together in the first place, so calm down - her tone was serious but girl caressed his cheek and smiled - I’m sure I’m not the only girl that can warm you up at nights.

\- You are the only one to me - he shaken his head with disbelief and clenched his jaw righ after, looking away like betrayed dog.

\- I am not, you think I am naive enough to believe in that? You have past and it’s chasing you, I ain’t girl for you.

\- What are you saying, kid? - Arthur’s eyes narrowed.

\- You’re sleeping with Mary, right? At least that’s what all red lights were showing me. All those letters, staying away, not coming home at night. I can’t blame you, she’s beautiful and more mature…more like you - Iris’s voice was full of jealousy.  
Arthur suddenly grabbed her chin and kissed her. The feeling coming with the kiss was unbearable, sensation fallin on Iris, tying up knot inside her stomach. She suddenly felt butterflies trying to get outside her chest and blood running faster in her veins. But girl quickly realised it’s her heart, racing so much it almost hurt. His chapped, plump lips were doing the job with softening her fasade, that’s for sure. Iris couldn’t help but run fingers through Arthur’s golden hair. His breath was warm and stubble on Arthur’s face tickled a bit, causing shivers in lower part of Iris’s spine. That was it, he hunted her down again. She purred, sucking onto his lower lip and smiled dreamily.

\- Do you think I could do something like that with anyone else but you? - Arthur asked - How could you assume I cheated on you and wasn’t even asking me for my side of the story? I never did, especially not with Mary.

\- Wait, does that mean that all those things that happened to us…are my fault? - girl’s face suddenly dropped, brows forming into frown.

\- I’m not blaming you, even if it is I can’t - Arthur’s forehead rested against hers - I should say something too, but I just thought I am too old for you, or maybe too stupid or to harsh when it comes to our intimacy and that’s why you are slipping from my hads so quickly - Iris noticed that his eyes were glimmering.

\- Hey, I am cold bitch but I wouldn’t treat you so badly only for those things - she whispered surprised, her breath unsteady.

\- I am not much to look at, I assumed you just wanted someone better…but I am the best for you, girl, I can feel we match just like puzzles does - it was the smoothest line Arthur Morgan ever used on anyone.

\- You are unbelievable! - she scoffed - And that’s why you were gone all days every time there was a letter from Mary?

\- I am a fool - Arthur run fingers through his hair in nervous manner - I shouldn’t help her, yer right, it looked so bad when now I remind myself…I just had this very wrong feeling sayin’ I owe her somethin’. She was asking me about lot of things and I felt like idiot running her errands thinking it’s just help that she needs after becoming a widow and I soon as she tried to…convince me I should ignore some young girl running after me and make love to her I escaped from Mary, a-and then I was diagnosed, assured by doctor I’m gonna die, I couldn’t let you watch it- - Arthur was rambling on and on, falling apart at the same time.  
But then Iris grabbed his both arms, looking at him firmly but with genuine and consider smile on her rosy lips.

\- I would never leave you, even if you’d die tomorrow. Heart doesn’t work like this, I care about you, even if we don’t have good time every day, Arthur. I would stay by your side, no matter what-  
Arthur’s eyes became stromy again and he pulled Iris into tight embrace, burrying face in her hair. Man tried to hide it but Iris knew he’s iritated with her little sugarcoating. Her small hands were running circles around his arms and back, letting him calm down a little.

\- I was afraid…to infect you, Iris. I was already dirty, living like a savage, no need to do the same to ya.

\- Shh, I’m not mad anymore - her heart was melting away on sight of Arthur Morgan who’s trying to get her back. Maybe she was simple, so what?

\- That means you gonna stay? I think you suit there.

\- I will stay even if it’s gonna be here, in this camp till the end of the world, you know it - she pecked his nose gently - We just have to sit down someday and talk about communication between us.

\- You sound so smart sometimes even though all you do is stupid and reckless - Arthur mocked her.

\- Its more about me without you, I need to be protected - she whispered to his ear, observing as this boyish grin appeared on Arthur’s lips. Iris planned to do that more often, clearly seeing through him and his low self-esteem. Man needed to be reassured once in a while that he’s important.

Arthur cheered up suddenly, grabing Iris into rough bear hug, messing up her hair a little and grinning like stupid.

\- And mister? I told you to quit smoking! - girl barked out trying to be intimidating but it caused only vibrations in Arthur’s chest as he couldn’t help but laugh.

Iris thought that she was light headed and drunk with love, but Arthur was just whole new level. All man was doing all days was following Iris around the camp as much as he could, looking ridiculous. If she was washing his shirts, he was scolding her for overworking herself, every time Iris chopped vegetables he was chiming in, helping her and kicking Mr Pearson out and hugs from the back happened often, usually stuttering her since Arthur could take really silent steps if he wanted to.  
Iris didn’t mind though, she was adoring idea of hot, dangerous gunslinger falling on their knees for her even if for a second. Every moment she was reminding herself first time she met Arthur’s stormy gaze, her knees were a little bit shaky.

Days passed and girl still couldn’t figure out how to ask Arthur if they can share a tent. It should be obvious but on first night after their reconcile he mumbled ’‘goodnight’’ and disappeared behind tent’s flaps. Iris couldn’t tell if she should follow, so stayed away and now it was another stupid problem she made up to have thing to worry about. In her head it looked like small gesture showing he’s not ready for her to come and turn his life upside down again. She sighed and started getting herself ready to go to bed, undressing and stretching her muscles, listening with satisfaction as her whole skeleton cracked. She still was hurt after train robbery, that one was tough and running away from bounty hunters one day was even tougher. Air was warm tonight, a bit stuffy also dark clouds presaged storm. Iris decided she’s gonna sleep naked and clothes she owned were throwed inside big, wooden trunk.

\- Hey, Iris, can you come over for sec- - Arthur froze in place seeing her naked with eyes wide and mouth open in “o” shape.

\- Go away! - she squeked, throwing pillow in his face.

\- Jesus, I’m sorry! - Arthur looked away quickly, but his cheeky smile showed otherwise.

\- You should knock, Mister! - girl said, covering herself quickly, not noticing small peeks Arthur was throwing at her ass and hips when she was turned around.

\- Sorry, I wasn’t expectin’ you like that…- he said with goofy smile.

\- Like what? It’s too warm tonight to sleep wearing anything and suddenly I think I’m gonna melt away - Iris waved her hands with motion towards complexion, causing a little bit of cold air caress her glimmering face.

\- Yeah, you- I mean, it’s hot, y'er right - Arthur’s hands became fidgety, he was picking on his nails nervously, blushing like a boy.

\- And you should knock 'cause there are plenty things I can do naked - Iris mocked him, causing motion of his hands to speed up.

\- Girls do that too?! Are you thinking of me when you-

\- You pig! - she thew another pillow at him.

\- I’m sorry, I wasn’t expectin’ you- I wasn’t expecting that - his eyes eagerly run from up to down - Iwantedtoinviteyoutocomeoverplease.

\- Huh? Are you drunk, Arthur?

\- A bit, yes - it clearly wasn’t a bit, Iris could tell, chatty tongue, jazzy hands, next thing is gonna be yelling how much he wants to cuddle her - I wanted to show you my new bed, it’s bigger.

\- Well, good for you, you always whined your back hurts - Iris shrugged.

\- It’s bigger so you could sleep with me - suddenly he got bolder, approaching her and slithering his hands onto her waist.

\- Oh, I thought I wasn’t invited - Iris pretended to look away and being irritated.

\- You’re right, I should do it properly. My lady, would you follow me to my bed and spend the night in my arms? - Arthur offered her a hand like he was asking Iris for a dance.

\- Now that’s something I like to hear, I would be honored, Mr Morgan - Iris said, picking up pillow from the floor and bringing it along with herself to Arthur’s tent.  
New bed was really big and he was so creative to place few candles around, making mood more intimate and romantic. Iris whistled, showing she’s impressed and rested on his bed, trying it out, rolling around for a minute.

\- Ah, sorry, I should ask you. I’m little bit sticky - she said, her face glimmering from sweat.

\- No no, go on - Arthur said, plastering his eyes to her body. He rocked a little bit in place as erection was growing hard in man’s pants. Arthur’s trying to look anywhere around, but it was impossible. Small feet, then slim calves, tights that had just enough cushion do lie down on them comfortable and then those round hips with neat buttocks.

\- How much did you have today, Mister? - Iris raised her brow.

\- A few beers, they lured me into that, I swear - Arthur said trying out his convincing tone and waving hands to show he’s innocent.

\- Surely - she purred, lowering her voice in sexy maneuver - I heard your voice, how it was again, hmm, ring dang doo?

\- Maybe - he said, blushing briefly. Oh, Iris could do anything to him now and he would wag his tail like a puppy.

\- You wanna come here or what?

\- Y-you know, I’m good here for now - he rocked on the chair again. Iris noticed small tent rised in his pants and smirked.

\- That’s a shame - she sighed with fake disappointment - But I’m perfectly comfortable here so - she said stretching a little bit, her nipples showing of through chemise - Goodnight, Mister.

Arthur gulped. She’s gonna be the death of him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter contains smut, probably the longest one so far :)

**  
**\- I can’t sleep! - Iris groaned suddenly, turning to her back and spreaded arms - For God’s sake, make it rain, or I’m gonna drown in my own sweat.

\- Well - Arthur smirked, lookin’ at her in weak light of oil lamp - In your tent you were undressed.

\- Pervert - Iris scoffed, getting up and jumping above him, as man layed on cots edge.

\- Where are ya goin’ now? - he asked surprised - Yer not going to your tent, are ya?

\- If I have to undress then I’m gonna do it in the best way - she exclaimed, grabbing a towel from his things - Fancy skinny dippin’ with me, or you too prude?   
  
  
There was some advantages of living near lake. Maybe mosqitous here were insufferable, but in hot days like this one it was more that a blessing to dive into cold water. It was also beautiful to watch, as moon was reflecting on it’s surface without any creases on windless nights. There was small platform leading from the shore into the water and stopping where the water was deeper.

\- Catch me if you can! - Iris yelled with playful tone, running past Arthur suddenly, clapping his back on the go. She undressed herself on the go not slowing down even for momment and jumped right into the lake, splashing water everywhere.

\- Ya can’t swim! - Arthur said mockingly unbuttoning his union suit quickly.

\- Yea, I just reminded myself - Iris catched platform with both her hands, looking at Arthur with playful smirk on her lips.  
Arthur noticed he’s being observed and tips of his ear became red. He turned around.

\- I can close my eyes if you want - Iris purred.

\- Please, do - Arthur became even redder. She couldn’t see that but he felt like fool already.  
Iris shut her eyes and she suddenly felt water splashing on her head. Arthur quickly got up to the surface and shaked his head quickly like a dog, hundreds tiny droplets falling all around.

\- Well, well - Iris said - Now what, prude?  
His gaze averted and now all he was dreaming about were pouring more liquor into his mouth ‘cause recklessness were stepping away to let place for embarasment.

\- Haven’t done that before, or what?

\- Not with someone, okay?  
Iris bite her lower lip, aproaching him slowly, barely feeling bottom of the lake. She looked into his eyes and their bodies touched. Arthur shivered, not sure what to do with his hands so embraced Iris shyly.

\- I’m not gonna fall apart, come on, squeeze me a little, cowboy - girl teased.  
Arthur did and it was amazing, her soft curves resting against his chest. He felt sudden rush of adrenaline and his hands slipped down, squeezing her butt. Iris shivered and moaned inside his ear.

\- Oh god - he whispered. It was beyond what he expected to feel right know, especially it wasn’t their first time alone. And yet, he couldn’t help but blush like teenager.

\- Iris’s my name - she said.  
  
Arthur started peppering her face with kisses, then nibbled on her ear a little, one of his hands going to her neck to choke her a little. He was carresing column of it under his palm, looking Iris in the eyes. Oh, Iris knew that gaze. He wen’t from shy and cuddly mode to sexy one in a glimpse of time, like always. Arthur Morgan had this kink on dominating his girl as much as possible, making her fully obedient and Iris loved to play that game, pretending to be harmless and shy.

\- Will you be good girl tonight? - Arthur’s voice was deep and low, coming from his guts.

\- Maybe - she whispered, streching the word on her tongue.

\- Better be - he whispered too but in voice that was taking no demands. Arthur’s eyes darkened and it was similar gaze to what he was wearing during robberies

\- Or I will get angry.

\- And do what…?

\- For stupid question there will be punishment - his hand went up and grabbed Iris’s chin, squeezing it along with her cheeks. His thumb carresed girl’s lower lip.  
Arthur lifted Iris with swift move and she surrounded his hips with her tights, soft and velvet skin against his rough one. She grinded herself against his cock, letting moan escape her lips.

\- Just like that, babygirl - Iris moaned again as he slid two fingers inside her without any warning - Yes, go on for me, don’t hold yourself back - his voice was husky, making girl tremble, and his breath was hot against her face. He smelled like cigarettes, whiskey and gunpowder. She was yelling and weepin’, asking for more and squeezing him between her thights, feeling climax coming but it never did.

\- Get out - he growled, pushing her away - And go lie down on the towel, babygirl.

She quickly got onto the shore, looking past her arm. It was like a deer running away from the wolf, except this deer dreamed about being hunted. Iris fell down, feeling soft towel against back. Arthur pinned her down immidiately.

He parted Iris’s legs not thinking about being gentle on her for even a second and looked at her with grin plastered to his lips. She gasped as his cock was stroking her wet cunt.

\- Needy, aren’t we? - Arthur grabbed her neck again, this time harder and entered her quickly. She cried out, but only from surprise and rocked her lips to adjust to Arthur’s size.

The thurts were rythmical, with every one there came moan, grunt and slap of Arthur’s thighs against Iris’s hips. Iris shut her eyes and her head went blank, no thought important enough to steal moments highlight.

\- Oh no no, open them, baby…I wanna watch you fall apart - he purred and slipped thumb inside her mouth, smirking with contentment when she sucked on it.

Brunette opened her eyes and they were glimmering. Iris loved the thrill when Arthur was dark and intimidating during sex and tears in her eyes were causen by pleasure and adrenaline. He loved to watch her like this and he wiped tears away with his calloused thumb. His breath was speeding up with every minute.

\- A-Arthur - his name slipped away from her tongue, as she was trembling under his touch and his gaze.  
He turned her around suddenly and with brutality. He spanked her and squeezed her ass right after, reentering her cunt again. Arthur pushed her face to the ground, leaving her hips high in the air and continued fucking her hard.

\- What do you want now, hmm? - he growled like an animal - Tell me and I’m gonna do it, you earned it for yourself.

\- L-let me come, please-

\- Beg for it, yeah, just like that - Arthur squeezer her boob and pinched on the nipple a little causing her legs started to shake.  
Iris’s moan was louder than any other before, when she came, her walls tightening around his cock in very pleasant motion. But he had other plans than just that. He pushed her on the back again and with cock in his hand, Arthur spilled the load on Iris’s body, mainly cleavage and face.  
He smirked, looking down on his deed.

\- Just like this, you little bitch - Arthur snarled, giving her gentle slap on the cheek - Tell me something you know I wanna hear.

\- T-thank you, Mr Morgan, it was amazing - Iris’s voice was quiet and shaky as she needed to calm down now, going back onto the earth, 'cause he just fucker her to the moon and back.

Arthur smirked ugly, proud with himself and kissed girl on the forehead.  
It was good to be back.

Arthur Morgan was shy when it came to woman, especially the woman he didn’t know well. Although, his relationship with Iris was going fast and he wasn’t waiting for long to show his true colors, which was being dominant, cold and sarcastic in addition to soft highlights. One could say he conquered Iris and now it was obvious for Arthur she’s gonna stay by his side. It could sound bad, but it was hitting Iris just right, when instead of goofy cuddling everyday, he rather smack her ass and call her a brat. Everyone had their kinks and those two were a perfect match. It wasn’t Arthur couldn’t been caught off his guard, especially when he was hugged unexpectantly, or when he heard something sweet from Iris’s mouth, who he was adoring more than anything deeply inside. However Arthur liked it rough and if anyone wanted to hear he loves them, they had to earn it. But being with Iris reminded Arthur one thing - he tried to be a family man in the past, but with his rough lifestyle and bad manners he would never fit in. Iris was a sparkle in the dark showing him that direction he chosed was indeed the one what thrilled him the most. He’d rather rob and kill with her by his side instead of settling down, forcing himself to do so. And with her Arthur could be forever young.  
  
Iris was taking steps slowly, placing feet after feet in the grass. She was hunting. Her target stood right in front of her, showing it’s back completly, not expecting an ambush. She jumped onto it.

\- Jesus, you frickin’ brat - Arthur hissed, turned his torso around and slapped back of Iris’s head. She giggled.

\- What’s up - girl said, wrapping her hands around him - I heard you go huntin’.

\- That’s what I am after now - he said.

\- Can I go with you? - she blushed briefly, hanging onto his arm now.

\- I don’t know, I wasn’t planning to take traitors who sneak on me.  
Iris pecked his cheek and looked at him with a playful smirk, holding her hands behind back. Arthur shaked his head and then he felt his satchel became lighter the moment she pulled away.

\- Did you just pickpocket me? - he looked at her and his gaze darkened. Iris just loved to trigger him.

\- Maybe - she said in innocent manner, showing him his journal and when he tried to grab it, she backed off again.

\- I don’t have time for that - he scoffed - Give it back.

\- Sure, just gonna sneak a little peek, you’ve been so much into sketching lately I wonder what’s occupying you so much - girl purred and started to backing off slowly as Arthur was approaching her.

\- Don’t make me bend you and slap you, honey - he hummed in inpatient voice.

\- Maybe I wanna be slapped? Or better, spanked.

\- You’ll get none of that then. It will be surpsise, not sure you’d like it. Give it back if you’re smart girl.

\- No way! - she giggled and without any thinking she climbed up the tree he tried to pin her to. She was clearly a cat in some ways, was Arthur thinking.

\- Come on! - he growled with impatience, throwing her stormy gaze.

\- What we got there…- Iris hummed - Ooo!  
There was whole bunch of pages where Arthur captured her naked. The were different angles and some of drawings were naughtier than girl would expect. Arthur was blushing furiously, hiding face under brim of a hat. Then he grabbed her ankle and make her fall, not even thinking about catching Iris. If she wanted it rough, she’s gonna get it the worst way.

\- Ouch! - she landed very unladylike on her ass - That wasn’t nice at all!

\- You weren’t nice - Arthur tore journal from girl’s hand and hid it, this time assuring himself satchel is closed properly.

\- Come on, that’s me you drew anyway! And why would you even bother to do that? - she clinged onto his arm again, bating her eyes innocently.

\- Feelin’ daring today, aren’t we? - he shook her off, reaching for his bow and attached it to horse cargo. Arthur lowered his hat even more so she wouldn’t see his face, because it showed greater weakness now.

\- You still haven’t said if I can go with you! - she started brushing his horse to help before going, as Iris hoped, with him.

\- Can you? - Arthur sent her a snap on the nose.

\- I mean I would if you need me… - she blushed herself briefly and took his hat away, putting it on her head. Now Arthur’s rosy cheeks was exposed and he scoffed, looking away to pretend his examining repeater in his hands.

\- You will do. 'Fcourse if you gonna stop babbling this much, woman. The weather was good, nothing too windy since it wouldn’t help them to sneak properly. Sun was kissing Iris’s face and she hummed a song with joy, throwing small looks towards Arthur, who seemed to ignoring her completely, looking after any broken branches or pawprints.

\- Jesus, would you shut up - he finally hissed with impatient tone - I won’t catch shit with you singin’.

\- You’re right, sorry - Iris said without any sign of being actually sorry, and started fidgeting on her bow.

They were walking around and it didn’t make any sense for Iris but suddenly Arthur made gesture, stopping her and he put finger up to her lips and one gaze was enough to understand.  
In front of them appeared enormous deer and it’s fur was amazing, almost golden, when the antlers, Iris thought, were bigger than her. She looked at animal in awe.

\- Do you like it? - Arthur whispered to her ear with seductive tone - I could give you the pelt so you would make our bed more warm with it, hm? What about that?

It was one of most lovely things he would offer her so far and Iris nodded with excitement. Arthur smirked, grabbing her face by chin and squeezing it. Then he got up without making any sound and sent an arrow directly into deer’s head, 'causing an animal to howl in agony. Iris gasped, it was living creature after all and sometimes it made her sad to kill deers. Iris was caressing pelt Arthur skinned from this amazing deer. It was a little bit dirty with blood but she didn’t mind, nothing a bit of cold water couldn’t fix. Arthur on the other hand was all gore, as he threw animal on his horse’s back with visible difficulty. He was panting and wiped hands from blood against his jeans.

\- We could sell antlers, too. There are people who fancy things like that as decorations - Iris said with small voice, her doe eyes shy as their gazes met.

\- Really? - Arthur looked at her with playful smirk on his lips. He got cocky when was looking at Iris, who simply admired him without any hesitation, still being amazed with soft pelt. Man told himself that he did great job, giving unusual gift to her little lover.

\- And it’s gonna feed us for ages. You did amazing, darlin’ - there was warmth and pride in those words as she caressed his forearm slowly.

\- Tell me more - Arthur closed gap between them her and grabbed into his arms, throwing her onto his horse like she was just ragdoll. Then he got on too.

\- Your shots are always the best ones…will you teach me someday? - Iris continued to sugarcoat him.

\- Not till I’ll know my time is coming to an end, you wouldn’t need me anymore - he scoffed and Iris blushed, caressing his ribs as she was looping her arms around Arthur’s body. His heart was beating strongly and girl could hear it’s vibrations.

\- I’ll always need you, Arthur - she replied with honesty and that made him grin widely, like a boy who just got his first kiss. She couldn’t see it thought, as her head was resting against Arthur’s back. They were going slowly, it was hard for Arthur’s horse enough just with them in the saddle, not talking about deer that rested on the back.

\- And yet you weren’t good girl today. Wanna tell me why? - he cooed with great dose of mockery in words.

\- I wanted to fool around with you for a bit, I know that maybe you don’t get the idea, but sometimes I can’t tell if you are angry, sad or if it’s just your face, so I just try to cheer you up, Sweetpea.

\- Fool around, eh? - Arthur smirked, getting all cocky.

\- I’m sorry if you did not like that - she said and shrinked behind his back being intimidated by his roughness a tad bit.

\- Being sorry won’t save ya tonight from me, darlin’ - Arthur chuckled darkly, but caressed Iris’s hand a little bit. She squeezed him tightly, purring like a cat.  
  
Arthur just loved the way he was making Iris feel, and the only better thing was how this girl made his stone heart go soft.


	16. Chapter 16

\- I can't believe you are getting married, Marston. It's like pigs could fly - Iris chuckled, fixing John's tie. She should help at bride's tent but it was wild place to be since Mrs Grimshaw scolded everyone around, like it was matter of life and death, not happiest day of someone's life. So she decided to give an emotional support for groom, who was alone.

\- Thank you for cheering me up - his voice was raspy - I am nervous as shit. 

\- Why? After all those years you are nervous to marry Abigail? - Iris threw him surprised look. She rested on clothes trunk, waving her legs in the air. 

\- She...she can still say no, right?

\- You kidding me?! - Iris scoffed- You are made for each other! And I am happy to say I see you like this, it gives me hopes I'm gonna leave and marry someone properly. 

\- You mean Morgan? - he chuckled, 'cause it sounded ridiculous.

\- Arthur? He would never marry someone, especially me! - Iris got the idea of what he was laughing about and smirked too. 

\- And where is he anyway?

\- He said something about staying away from him so I won't spoil the surprise, he doesn't know what I'm gonna wear today. Just like you don't know with Abigail!

\- Oh God, just when I forgot for a second - he groaned, burrying face in hands. 

\- It looks like Reverend Swanson is ready - Iris said peeking out of the tent. 

\- S-should I go? - John gulped, getting up like he was about to faint and get back on the floor. 

\- Go and get her - Iris patted John's arm to encourage him. 

She slipped out of tent and looked around. It was almost like mother nature knew it's gonna be wedding tonight. Air was warm and smelled like pines, there were decorations made from white roses (it took girls ages to accomplish something like this) and lanterns, giving their camp look almost like from fairy tale. They moved their tents and wagons to make room on the grass for drinking and sitting around campfire and dancing.  
Iris was wearing very pretty and very atypical dress. When all Ladies of Van Der Linge gang went downtown to search for dresses they found this small Parisian shop they would never go to if it wasn't meant to be for Abigail's wedding sake. At first, when she saw that dress Iris wasn't sure if it was right for her but it fitted like glove. The top was tight and had straps crossing on her exposed back, when the bottom half was A shaped, giving her this princess look as it was going down to the ground, fabric folding nicely. It had dark rich green colour. Iris's hair was braided in crown around her head and she was wearing bold, red lips. Even if she felt in this dress like a fool at first, lady in the shop convinced her that if someone should try it out, as a new fashion trend, it was meant for Iris and her sweet arms to try. 

Right after ceremony took place she tried to search for Arthur but she couldn't see him. Guess he got bored with me for today, she thought. But the evening with friends still seemed fun. After few drinks and toasts she started feeling urge to have a cigarette, so when she spotted Dutch sneaking out for one, she followed, bumping into him right after one of wagons.

\- Evening, can I have one please? - she giggled, balancing herself with drink in hand.

\- Sure, help yourself - Dutch gave her thoughtful smile. Iris joined him, leaning against the wagon. 

\- What a beautiful night. Makes me feel like I was normal or something - she smirked, lighting cig up.

\- Aren't you? You probably coming next - Dutch pushed her a little using shoulder, with friendly manner.

\- I don't think so. No one would have me, I talk to much making men roll their eyes back into their heads with boredom and irritation.

\- Forgive me my being nosey but Arthur and you..? - Dutch mocked her.

\- You must be joking and not knowing man you raised to think he would ever marry some crazy brat. I guess his just having fun with me, even if I thought it's love at first. No strings attached.

\- I was almost sure you are basically living together so I assumed things - Dutch rolled his eyes.

\- Look, I can tell you the difference. There is John, cuddling with his wife and having a beer together. And then there I am, having a cigarette with you, Dutch when Arthur is nowhere around me since the start of this party. That's difference between love and fun. 

\- I think you were hopeless romantic by the books you read and songs you are humming all days..? - he dragged onto his cigarette. 

\- It's just books - she waved it away - Life isn't like this, especially ours! I am no good girl who's gonna get the best husband picked by her daddy. So I am holding onto something what makes me happy, even if it's silly. 

\- I really misjudged you then - Dutch said with mysterious smile playing on his lips as he left her to have the rest of cigarette alone. Iris was making small circles with smoke, looking into starry sky. She kinda felt dumb for thinking that Arthur would care about some stupid romance when it was his brother's wedding day. Because that what it was, silly. She started humming a song she overheard from campfire and her legs were tapping a rythm. She wasn't even thinking about being alone in the dark while others had fun. 

\- Hey, you - Arthur appeared from nowhere, which made Iris jump up with fear. He was wearing suit, and was clean shaved. It made Iris's heart skip a beat too.

\- Jesus, I think it's heart attack - she hissed, hand agaist her chest.

\- You hiding away from me? - he murmured into her ear and purred slightly - How dare you hide away when you look like this? 

Arthur wasn't waiting long to drag her to the tent. He kicked apart her ankles and pulled dress up, just to soon after that rock her brain, pinning her doggy style against the trunks, pulling out successful quicky with her without being noticed as gone or disappeared. After all happened, Arthur turned Iris around and kissed on the temple, like he always did after rough sex. 

\- I-I love you - she exclaimed as she paced, burrowed in his arms. Iris was almost sure she never said it out loud before, she was just thinking this deep inside. Girl blushed, hiding face away from him, burrying it in the croock of Arthur's neck. So it was kind of confession in this crazy relationship.

\- 'Fcourse you do, you are the most naive and pure creature I had met - he caressed her cheek with dark chuckle - No one else would be crazy enough to fall in love with me. 

He didn't say he loves her back, Iris thought. That's sad.   
\- You are just lovable, I think it's that - she blushed briefly.

\- Lovable? - he bursted into laugh, which made Iris head vibrate when her temple rested against his skin - I would never let myself fall in love with someone who's careless and cold like me. 

Iris bursted into laugh too, he was kind of right. Arthur was an outlaw, dangerous and ruthless one, who was risking his life actively almost everyday for last 20 years or so. What he was saying made sense, but Iris felt little pin poking her heart, because that meant she also isn't on the best page in his records. She was cold and careless too. 

\- I think we should go - she whispered, trying to hold chuckle so she won't be looking like hurt idiot she just were - I'm sure everyone around noticed we're not there. 

As they left the tent she noticed people are dancing in pairs, or thirds, laughing and fooling around. Iris decided to push her luck and ask Arthur if he would consider dancing with her a little. He was never much of a dancer and she usually were turned down by Arthur, even when Dutch's phonograph was playing something nice and slow, so they could just cuddle and rock to the tact. Iris turned around to say something but he weren't there, she bumped into someone instead.   
-  
I was searching for you everywhere - Mary-Beth squeezed her tight, amortising bump - I kind of fancy a dance with my little friend.

\- Oh, that's very nice proposition! - Iris let Mary-Beth kiss her hand, pretending she's a man inviting her friend to dance. 

\- M'lady - Mary-Beth chuckled. She was beautiful tonight, Iris thought. Romantic dress in baby blue color suited her blond, curly hair and rosy complexion. Real lady. 

They were dancing together, giggling and throwing each other looks like they tried to seduce each other. Mary-Beth was nice and warm and for short amount of time Iris was thinking that she wouldn't mind being with a woman somehow. Then they heard a gunshot and everyone froze in place.

It was matter of seconds as Iris understood what just happened. They were attacked, someone had to snitch camp was having a party tonight to hit at the moment they were most vunurable, drunk and dressed well, not fitting for a fight. Mary-Beth suddenly felt heavier in girl's arms and when she noticed hole between her eyes she screamed in panic. That bullet was meant for Iris and that was more than sure. Another gunshot and bullet flying above her head. She felt to the ground.

The terror begin, everyone throw themselves behind trunks, barrels and wagons. Iris stayed on the ground, crawling towards nearest cover, Mary-Beth's blood dripping down her face as it was on Iris's cheek. She crawled inside her tent and started grabing the most necessary things. It was mostly money, 'cause in this situation Iris considered that there might be an option that tonight she's gonna lose all her belongings. Part of them were on horse, guns attached to saddle, she had there winter clothes too. 

Iris smelled burning wood and she bursted out of tent, with revolver in her hands. Pinkertons set they things on fire and her tent was the closest one to start burning. Iris was running around the camp, ditching bullets. Arthur, where was he?

\- Arthur! Arthur Morgan! - she screamed at the top of their lungs. Suddenly she felt grip around her neck, as one of Pinkertons started choking her. She knocked him out by smashing his nose with back of her head. She felt like dress on her was ripping apart with her every move, not being very suitable for fighting man.

\- Arthur! - she yelled in histeria, not sure if anyone heard her. Then she jumped in place as in front of her someone threw fire bottle and it cut her ways out, splashing oil leaving small marks on her skin. It was burning on her flesh.

Iris looked around, not being sure what to do. All she wanted was to feel Arthur's calloused hand and hear his furious voice. But life chosed for her, as all she could do was jump on her horse, which was neighing in terror and run, saving them both, or get shot burning in flammable oil at the same time. She tripped over her dress, tearing it completely and made her choice. With mad tears in her eyes she started galloping through the night. She's gonna find him tomorrow, it was better than get killed and not seeing him anymore again. 

***

After hours of running away and taking random paths just to keep lawman off her back Iris was wrecked. She couldn't collect her head yet to analyse what just happened. If there was time she would look around the people faces. Snitch obviously wasn't there with them at time ambushed happened. Iris rested her head against horses mane and begin to sob. All she knew that she's parted from everyone she knew and it wasn't even sure they are still alive. Iris brushed it off, Arthur would never die such stupid death, girl knew him. Tomorrow she will run back and search for him under every rock on her path. She suddenly heard voices coming from the distance and galloping horses. On the road nearby there were lawmen, searching through area. Iris wasn't far enough, she thought. There is half state after her even if she paid her bounties on time. So she stirred up her horse and continued on galloping, in hope this night the hounds won't find the foxes.

Going north was here only choice. No one was crazy enough to go to far out there, as the snow was deep and avalanches could kill one just like that. But after all Iris was growing up there. She could handle it, right? 


End file.
